


Pursuit of Happiness, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, Episode: s01e22 What Kind of Day Has It Been, F/M, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-14
Updated: 2001-09-14
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: It's been a month since the shooting, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.





	1. Pursuit of Happiness, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shooting, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

Author's notes: I'm fairly new to the West Wing, up until a month ago, I hadn't seen an episode. Then, my stepmother, who's a huge fan, make me sit and watch the entire season in two days. By the end of it, I was hooked. And, being me, I couldn't just watch the show, I had to find the fanfic. Then, after I'd read most of that (there's a lot of wonderful fic for this show), I had to write my own. I'll apologize in advance for any mistakes in characterization, I'm not familiar enough with the characters yet to really do them justice. So, if anyone has any helpful hints, please pass them on.

Oh, and I made up my own version of why Mandy and Josh broke up. I'm not sure if that was covered on the show or not, if it was, oops. :) And everything about the shooting, and why it happened is pure speculation on my part.

And I'll shut up now. :)

 

"Donnatella Moss!" Josh Lyman raised his voice so that it would carry out into the bullpen where his assistant was supposed to be finding him the files he needed in order to prepare for his meeting with Leo in the morning.

"What?!" She yelled back at him.

"I'm still waiting for the stuff on 804." He informed her, a half smile playing on his face as he imagined the glare Donna was shooting in his direction.

"I'm aware of that Josh."

"I'm a busy man." He yelled to her, kicking his legs up on his desk and leaning back in his chair.

She peeked inside his door, her eyes rolling in disgust. "You look like a busy man Josh."

He pulled his feet down quickly. "Well I would be a busy man if you'd get me the file I asked for."

"And if you'd stop talking to me, I'd be getting it." She threw back, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms.

"Then go."

She shook her head, wheeling around and disappearing back into the hallway. He shook his head after her, a smile lingering on his lips. He waited another minute, and then yelled again. "Do you have it now? I've been waiting for over an hour."

"You've been waiting for fifteen minutes." She corrected, appearing in his office door with her arms loaded down with files.

"Whatever." He shrugged, coming around his desk to take the files from her arms. "You still made me wait."

"I do what I can." She replied, spinning around to leave. "See you tomorrow."

"Hold on." He asked, setting the papers on his desk and following her. "Where are you going?"

"It's after seven Josh, I'm going home. I do like to do that sometimes."

"But I need you to help me organize this stuff." He pleaded, motioning to his overburdened desk.

"And I need to get a life." She answered tartly. "Which is what I'm going to do. Starting with the date that I'm going to be late for if I don't leave."

"You have a date?" He stared at her, his expression slightly stunned.

"Yes Josh, I have a date. You don't have to look so shocked, I'm not totally repulsive."

"I know that."

She narrowed her eyes. "So I'm going to leave now."

"Fine."

"Josh." Sam sped into the room, nearly knocking Donna over as he skidded to a stop. "Have you been watching CNN?"

"No Sam, I'm not watching CNN. You'll notice that the TV isn't even on, which I think should be your first clue."

"Turn it on." Sam ordered; shifting impatiently while Josh searched for the remote. "Forget it." He told Josh, crossing the room to flick the TV on and stepping back as the announcer's grim voice filled the room.

"To recap our breaking news, the Aryan Resurrection have taken over Saint Michaels Catholic Church on the outskirts of DC. They are holding a priest, a deacon and three lay people hostage over the imprisonment of Jake Newcome. It is believed that they are heavily armed.

"Jake Newcome, as many of you will remember, is the lone surviving gunman in the attempted assassination of the President. He is also one of the founding members of the Aryan Resurrection. The group is believed to have been directly involved in the attempted assassination. Jake Newcome is scheduled to go on trial in August for the murder of secret service agents Tom Delanay, and Richard Todd."

"Oh God." Donna breathed, reaching out to grab Josh's arm.

He turned to her, his face drawn. "It's going to be fine." He promised her gently before turning to Sam. "Where's Leo and the President?"

"They're in the Oval office. CJ and Toby are probably already there." Sam replied. "We should go."

Josh nodded, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. He stopped in front of Donna. "You leaving?"

She was silent for a moment before shaking her head. "I just have to make a phone call."

"I'll keep you updated." He replied over his shoulder as he and Sam made their way from the room.

~~~

The group gathered in the Oval office were silent, their attention focused on the President, who was talking quietly on the telephone.

"We know any more than CNN?" Josh asked in a low voice.

Leo shook his head. "We're trying to find out more."

"We should have known about this before CNN." Toby observed. "The FBI should have been on the phone the second they realized what was going on."

"They're on the phone now." Leo offered. "Let's work with that."

"We're sure it's the same group?" Sam asked, fiddling nervously with his tie.

"We're sure." Leo answered grimly.

"This isn't good." Josh said. He swallowed hard, his eyes traveling over the worried faces of his friends, unable to believe this was happening. They were still reeling from the attempted assassination, to have the same group attacking again seemed unreal.

"Well thank you Josh." Leo replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I always look forward to hearing your read of the situation."

"Leo." The President warned, hanging up the phone and shaking his head at his best friend.

"Sorry Mr. President. Josh." Leo nodded his head in Josh's direction before turning back to the President. "What did they have to say?"

"Not much. They're still holed up, they still have hostages, and they're still blaming it on us. They let the priest talk to the Cardinal. I think they're under the impression that he has more power than I do." The President shrugged, "Maybe he does."

"So we should expect a call?" CJ asked, leaning forward in her chair.

"I told Williams to get the Cardinal on the phone to me as soon as he's done talking to the priest--what was his name again?"

"Burton. John Burton." Sam supplied. "He's a graduate of Berkeley with a degree in computer science. Apparently he was making a nice living, and by nice I mean six figures, working for some computer firm in Seattle when he was called."

"By who?" Josh asked curiously.

"By God." Toby answered.

"Right." Josh nodded, sinking back into the couch. "And I need to know this?"

"Josh, the man is being held hostage." The President reprimanded him gently.

"Sorry." He sunk lower into the couch, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

"It's okay." The President waved off his apology. "I know we're all feeling a little out of sorts about this and it's reminding us of a night we'd rather forget, but I need you to keep it together. Everyone is going to follow your lead and I'd prefer it if you weren't leading them into chaos."

"Chaos sir?" Toby inquired.

"Yes Toby, chaos. Disorder, disarray."

"Okay." Toby answered. "I can see us leading people into disorder, possibly disarray, but I'm going to have to disagree with chaos."

"Your disagreement is noted."

"That's all I wanted."

"Can you people be serious for one second?" Mandy asked, her fingers banging nervously on her leg as she glared around the room. Her face was pale, and her eyes seemed larger than normal. "There are people being held hostage here."

"We're serious about it." Sam replied.

"You're making jokes."

"Not funny ones." Josh offered, with a wan smile. It faded when he shifted in his seat so that he was facing Mandy. Meeting her eyes, he suddenly realized that she was thinking about the last hostage crisis she had been involved in. "Mandy..."

"Forget it Josh." She cut him off, climbing to her feet and looking around the room. "If that's all?"

"Okay." The President answered, looking from her to Josh. "We'll get the next update in an hour. You'll all be around."

They all nodded in agreement, even though they understood it hadn't been a question. Josh jumped to his feet, trailing after Mandy. He caught up with her outside the office, pulling her to the side as the rest of the senior staff dispersed.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine Josh. Just because the last hostage situation I had a part in ended in the permanent paralysis for one of the FBI's top negotiators..."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It still feels like it is."

"It shouldn't." He whispered, reaching out to pat her arm gingerly. She nodded, looking down at the floor silently. "If you need me....?" He offered, already beginning to head away from her.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her voice hitching slightly.

"I have to get back to my office."

"Oh." She said flatly, looking up at him. "I see." Her eyes pinned his, her lips twisting in derision.

He shook his head, feeling almost forgotten tendrils of dread rising in his stomach. He knew that tone; he'd hated that tone. "You see what?"

"Donna's waiting."

"Well she won't be doing work." He remarked with a smile, hoping he could sidestep the coming accusation.

"You've been away from her for all of 30 minutes Josh, it must be killing you."

"I'm not doing this." He informed her. Funny, he'd worried about her bringing this up again in the first few weeks she had been at the White House, but after a while, he'd assumed she'd gotten over it. That had obviously been a mistake. "And you are definitely not doing this."

"Fine." She answered; wheeling around and marching rapidly down the hall.

Josh watched her go, waiting for the tightness in his stomach to fade. "I'm getting a feeling that conversations not over." He commented to the empty hallway.

~~~~~~~~~

Leo looked over at his friend after the senior staff had left the office. The President was sitting at his desk, staring at his hands. "Sir?"

"I have to call Zoe." The President said slowly, lifting his head to meet Leo's eyes. "I don’t know what to say to her."

"Is Charlie with her?"

"Yeah." He answered, sinking down lower in his chair. "I’m actually more worried about him. Zoe's doing fine, but Charlie’s...he feels guilty. He doesn't say it, but I can see it in his eyes."

"He shouldn’t." Leo replied. "None of this is his fault."

"I think he knows that. But it's still hard. They shot at us because he's dating Zoe, so regardless of the issue of fault, he still feels guilty."

Leo nodded in agreement, walking over and settling onto the couch. "I haven't really talked to him since he came back to work."

"He hasn't been very talkative." The President admitted. "And I don’t know what to say to him. I’m torn Leo."

"Torn?"

The President nodded. "Zoe would be safer if they broke up." Leo was silent, waiting for his friend to continue. "But I can’t get away from the fact that if I asked them to break up, I’d be giving into their demands." He left unspoken who they were, knowing Leo would understand.

"Not to mention breaking Zoe's heart." Leo offered sympathetically.

"There is that." The President agreed. "And since I've vowed to exact vengeance on anyone who hurts my children..."

"The public wouldn't look to fondly on their commander-in-chief putting a hit out on himself?"

"Exactly." Nodding, the President leaned over and picked up the phone. "Mrs. Landingham? Can you get Zoe for me?" Setting the phone back in the cradle, he straightened up, the persona of a father fading into the background again. "My daughter is not giving up the man she loves."

"I didn’t think so." Leo answered, getting up and walking towards the door. "I’ll be in my office if you need me."

"I’m sure I will." The President responded wryly.

~~~~~~~~~

  

  


	2. Pursuit of Happiness, The 2

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

Mandy's heels clicked loudly on the tile floor as she sped through the halls of the west wing. Every nerve in her body was screaming for her to get out, let the rest of them deal with it.

Let Josh deal with it.

She didn't want this; she'd never wanted this. She loved working in politics, loved the deal making and the promises. Loved the thrill of campaigning and the joy of victory. What she didn't love was the reality. Daily life in the West Wing was not what she'd thought it would be.

She stopped in her tracks, spinning around and ducking into Sam's empty office. Sitting down at his chair she picked up the phone, making two quick phone calls before leaning back and putting her feet up on his desk. She stared blankly at the wall, waiting to see if she felt any regret over her decision. When nothing came, she swung around, her feet landing on the ground with a bang and booted up Sam's computer.

Her fingers were flying rapidly across the keyboard when Sam walked into the room. "What are you doing here?" He asked with a hint of trepidation. "Did I do something? Or are you here for another favor?"

"You owe me." She reminded him.

Sam frowned, walking over to the chair in front of his desk and sitting down. "And since this is a really bad time, I'm gonna assume you want to collect." She raised one eyebrow at him, and he gave in. "Just promise me the words 'Republican' and 'I want to work for' aren't going to pass your lips."

"I can't do that."

"Mandy! Josh and Toby are never going to go for it. You know that. We've had a hell of a month and it's not getting any better. You can't do this."

"They don't get a say in it Sam. I'm quitting."

Sam opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again, doing a remarkable imitation of Gail before finally saying. "Tell me you're joking."

"I can't do that." She shrugged, returning her attention to the screen in front of her. "And I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Sam asked, running a hand through his hair. "Help me out here Mandy, I'm a little confused."

Mandy bit her lip, deleting one line of text. "The life and death stuff. I can't do it. I don't want to do it."

"Then why are you in politics?"

Mandy frowned, looking over the computer to meet Sam's eyes. "I like getting people into power. I just don't want to hang around after that's done."

"So you're quitting." Sam asked again, sinking back into his chair. "Josh is going to kill you."

Mandy smiled. "And that's where the favor comes in."

Sam shook his head vehemently. "No way. I'm not telling him."

"You owe me."

"I don't care." Sam replied stubbornly. "I'm not telling him. You guys have a history, you owe it to him to tell him."

Her smile faded as she shifted in her chair, her fingers leaving the keyboard to fold together on top of the desk. "I can't Sam."

"Then don't quit."

"I have to."

"Mandy, the thing with the negotiator in McClane wasn't your fault."

"It's not just that Sam. I have feelings for him."

"For the negotiator? Isn't he married?"

"Not him Sam." She answered impatiently, her embarrassment over her confession coming across as hostility. "Josh. I still have feelings for Josh."

"And that has something to do with you leaving?"

"Yes." She said simply, hoping he'd just let it go.

Sam was silent for a minute, before asking carefully, "Have you talked to Josh about it? Maybe he's still got a thing for you too. Then you could stay, and we could all be treated to those four hour screaming matches you two were so good at."

"He's in love with Donna." She answered.

Sam sighed, standing up and pacing around the room. "You know, of all your crazy theories, that's the one I most hoped you'd forgotten."

"It's not a theory."

"He's not in love with Donna." Sam said; his tone conveying that he knew it was pointless to try and convince her.

"Right."

"Don't do this to us Mandy." Sam pleaded.

"I have to Sam. It's time."

"It's the worst possible time." He corrected, throwing himself back into a chair with a grimace. "Josh is going to be pissed."

"I don't care how Josh feels."

"How Josh feels appears to be a big part of the reason you're leaving." Sam reminded her. "Or at least, how you think Josh feels."

"He's in love with her." She repeated stubbornly

"So you say." Sam said. "But, to be fair, he's never said that. Or even hinted at it. Donna's his assistant. I'm close to my assistant. It doesn't mean I'm in love with her."

"Have you ever looked at them?"

Sam shook his head, leaning back against his chair. "The White House is a busy place, I don't have a lot of time to watch for hidden feelings."

"Well, if you did, you'd see."

"Whatever." Sam brushed her off, closing his eyes. "I don't think you should quit Mandy, and I want to argue with you about it some more, but I'm busy, and I'm tired, and I don't think I'm going to win."

"Will you take him my resignation?" She asked.

"No."

"Then I will."

"Don't do it Mandy."

"I'm doing it now."

"You're being stupid." Sam said slowly, peering out at her through half closed eyes. "And I'm going to have to pick up the pieces when Josh explodes. I'm really not up for it Mandy, can't you wait a few weeks?"

"Now you're being stupid Sam. If Josh really is upset, he'll go to Donna."

"I'm not doing this." Sam replied, shutting his eyes tightly. "And you shouldn't either."

"I'm going." She said firmly, getting up and walking out of the room, letting the door fall shut behind her.

Sam opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. "Well, this should be fun."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Zoe set the phone down slowly, glancing across the room at the door, wishing she could talk to Gina before she told Charlie the news. Her secret service agent had become her sounding board in the month since the shooting, sitting up with her at night when she'd been so worried about Charlie she thought she wouldn't be able to make it. Gina had fought with Butterfield for her until they'd let them go to the hospital and sit at Charlie's beside, waiting for him to wake up.

And now, now that she had him back, and whole, she didn't want to open the wounds again. She never wanted to see the same look on his face as he'd had when her father had confirmed that it was a white supremacist group responsible for the shootings.

Charlie had sworn he was okay, that he knew he wasn't at fault for their actions, but he had become so withdrawn, refusing to be seen anywhere in public with her. She'd remained quiet about it as long as she could, wanting to give him the time he needed to come to terms with everything. And slowly, he had. He'd even agreed to go with her to her Sorority formal, the first time they'd be anywhere remotely public since the shooting.

"Charlie?" She spoke slowly, trying to lengthen the seconds until she had to speak the words. "That was my Dad."

"I'm off tonight." He said firmly, barely looking away from the movie playing on her TV screen. "I don't want to hear anything about the White House."

"There's a hostage situation Charlie." She whispered, hearing a soft tap on her door as she spoke. Getting up, she walked quickly across the room, opening the door to Gina. "Thank you." She breathed, turning back to her boyfriend.

Charlie was sitting up now, his face concerned. "At the White House?"

"No." She shook her head, walking over and sitting beside him. "At a church."

"Oh." He watched her face, his own expression growing increasingly nervous. "Is there someone there we know?"

"Charlie, it's the same group. They want Jake Newcombe released."

"The same group?" He asked, his face going blank. "And they want him released?"

"Yeah."

"Then let him go." Charlie said calmly. "And then when they've released the hostages burn the damn church to the ground with them inside."

"Charlie!"

"Zoe." Gina interrupted, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed and speak to Charlie. "You're not responsible for them."

"I know that." Charlie replied angrily. He stood, wiping his hands on his pant legs. Shaking his head, he circled the room twice, his breath loud in the silent room. He stopped finally, his eyes meeting Zoe’s. She met them, wanting to cry at the pain she saw inside him. "But it's hard when everything they do is because of something I did."

"It's not your fault." Zoe whispered, stepping closer to him and running her hand over his arm. "They're crazy. They don't know anything but hate."

Charlie remained silent for a moment and then nodded. "We should go to the White House. You'll be safer there."

"Charlie." Zoe began, but catching Gina's eye, she held back what she was going to say. Instead, she climbed to her feet, grabbing her purse as Gina spoke into her wristband. "We'll go to the White House." 

~~~~~

  


	3. Pursuit of Happiness, The 3

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

"Josh." Donna appeared in his doorway, holding a cup of coffee.

"You brought me coffee?" He asked hopefully, eyeing the cup in her hand.

She snorted, shaking her head. "Mandy's here to see you."

He winced, taking a deep breath as he struggled to find an excuse to keep this conversation from happening. "Is she right outside the door?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah." She nodded, backing away as Mandy appeared beside her. "I'll be at my desk."

"Okay." He answered, turning his attention to Mandy. "Is there any possibility this is about something that's not going to involve pain for me?"

"No." She replied, walking into his office and pulling the door shut behind her.

"I didn't think so." He remarked, setting down his pen and leaning back in his chair. "So, what's on the menu?"

"I'm leaving." She said bluntly.

Josh stared at her, waiting for her to clarify her statement.

"I'm quitting."

"You're what?" He asked, his voice rising in outrage. "You can't quit."

She tilted her head, giving him her patented 'I can do whatever the hell I want' stare. "I'm sick of pretending."

"Oh." He frowned, waiting for her to continue, and when she didn't, he prodded her gently. If he had any hope of getting her to reconsider, he had to remain calm. "And how are you pretending?"

"We're both pretending Josh."

"Okay...how are we both pretending?"

"I don't fit here. I'm not like you guys. I don't want to save the world."

"What are you talking about?" He asked helplessly, leaning forward to stare at her.

"I like the chase Josh. I don't like the reality."

"You're upset." He stated, "Because of the hostage situation. I know it's hard Mandy, but you can't just give up."

"It's not just that Josh."

"What else is bothering you?" He inquired.

"It was wrong of me to ask you to fire Donna." She stated; her eyes widening in shock after the words came out of her mouth. He flinched, even though he had been expecting it after their conversation outside the Oval office. If he was honest with himself, he was surprised it hadn't come up sooner.

"Okay." He said slowly, tipping his chair forward. "And that has to do with you quitting how?"

"I don't know." She answered honestly, walking across the room to sit in the chair in front of his desk. "I was just thinking about it, and really, it's not Donna's fault that you're in love with her, so I shouldn't have asked you to do it."

Josh stared at her as if she had come into his office to declare her allegiance to the King of Spain. He would never understand why conversations with her had to be so difficult, or why she had fixated so strongly on Donna. "I thought we were talking about why you're quitting. Have I missed something?" He asked finally.

"No. Yes." She pulled her bag off her shoulder, dropping it to the floor. "I just want you to know that I understand why you couldn't fire her. I was jealous, and I was wrong."

"There was no reason to be jealous of Donna." Josh answered, his voice puzzled. "And I always knew you were wrong." He added, unable to help himself.

"I wasn't wrong about you being in love with Donna. I was wrong to ask you to fire her." She clarified, smiling when his face paled.

"I'm not doing this." He told her, running one hand distractedly through his hair. Hadn't it been enough that for two weeks after he'd asked Donna to be his personal assistant he'd had this same conversation, not to mention the entire last month of their relationship? "I'm not in love with Donna, and I'm not doing this."

"I'm leaving. I want closure." She said, her face set.

"Now? You want closure now? It's been a long time Mandy, how come you never needed closure before?" He stopped, shaking his head at her. "Although I thought telling me that you hoped I'd die a horribly painful death, preferably in the next few hours, was a certain measure of closure."

"That was a year ago Josh, and since I'm obviously not getting my wish, I want closure."

"Fine." He gave in, dropping his head into his hands. "How do you get closure?"

"I want you to admit you're in love with Donna." She said calmly.

"You're crazy." He answered, feeling the familiar frustration rising in his throat. "I'm not in love with Donna. I wasn't in love with her a year ago when you got the crazy idea that my assistant was public enemy number one. It's all in your head Mandy, and if you still can't let it go, I'd suggest professional help."

"That's not closure Josh."

"I'm not going to say I'm in love with Donna just so you can have closure."

"It's the truth." She argued. "And I want you to admit it."

"Why are you doing this?" He asked. "You do know what's going on don't you? And that it's bringing up a lot of bad memories of the shooting?"

"It feels like the right time."

"Well, you always did have the worst timing in the world."

"I do not." She began, then stopped herself. Getting up, she walked over to stand at the back of his office before starting again. "Can you honestly tell me that you've never thought of Donna as more than your assistant?"

"You're crazy." Josh stated again, slumping his body over his desk in defeat. "You do know that at least?"

"I'm not crazy." Mandy argued, leaning back against the filing cabinet and glaring at him. "I'm just sick of pretending."

"See? That's where you lost me. How were we pretending? Or was it just you? Cause if it was, why don't you just stop, and leave me out of it?"

"You're going to hurt Joey Lucas."

Josh straightened up at the mention of the polling expert, settling back in the chair and crossing his arms. "How did we get to Joey Lucas? I thought we were talking about the failure of our relationship. Although seconds before that I thought we were talking about you quitting, so it's possible that I don't have any sort of handle on this conversation." Mandy opened her mouth, but Josh continued on, waving a hand in the air to stop her from speaking. "Don't. Just don't. I don't want to hear it."

"Josh."

"Mandy."

They glared at each other in a silent battle of wills for a minute, and then Mandy dropped her eyes, her voice soft when she spoke. "I've got to get out of here."

"Well that's the first sensible thing you've said all night." Josh smiled slightly, taking any insult from his words. "Get a good night's sleep. It'll all seem better in the morning."

"I'm still quitting Josh. That hasn't changed." Mandy clarified.

"You can't." Josh replied firmly. "We need you."

"I can't stay."

"Okay, and this is because of the hostage situation or because you're mad that I wouldn't get rid of Donna? Cause really, wouldn't a better time to get mad about that have been when you asked me to?"

"I did get mad. I broke up with you."

"And that's my point." Josh argued, standing up and leaning on his desk. "I've already been punished."

"It wasn't a punishment Josh." Mandy replied, walking over to the chair in the corner of his office and slumping into it. "I just couldn't handle being the second woman in your life."

Josh scowled, struggling to hold onto his temper as he walked from behind the desk. "You know, I didn't get your problem with Donna then, and I certainly don't get it now. She's my assistant. You were my girlfriend. At the end of the day, it was you I went home with."

"But you were in love with her."

He slammed his hands down on the desk, his voice harsh as he spoke. "I am not in love with Donna. On the other hand, I was in love with you."

"And when you were upset? When something didn't go right? Who did you go to?"

"I don't know what that has to do with anything. If I'd gone to Sam, would you assume I was in love with him?"

"You don't look at Sam like you look at Donna."

"This is insane." Josh observed. "You are insane. I don't know why I didn't see the signs."

"I'm not insane Josh."

"Right." He scowled at her, "You're obviously thinking quite clearly. It's barely a month after there was an attempted assassination of the President. An attack, may I remind you, which injured the majority of the senior staff, and killed two secret service agents and which has now resulted in a hostage taking." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Couldn't you have picked a better time to do this?"

"It's been coming for a while." Mandy answered, her gaze drifting between him and the wall. "It's not a spur of the moment thing. I've been thinking about it since I went to the hospital the night of the shooting."

"Why? Was Mike Brace waiting there with a fistful of cash?"

Mandy lifted her head, her eyes dancing angrily. "Stop it. This isn't a joke."

"I know." Josh shot back. "It's a nightmare. Not to mention thoroughly unprofessional. You can't bring our personal relationship to the job Mandy."

"The job brought it to me."

Josh shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face as he settled back on the edge of the desk. "A year ago. We broke up over a year ago. Don't you think that if I was in love with Donna, I would have made a move by now?"

"No."

"No? Just no? You don't have something better to offer than that? I mean, you're the one who came up with this brilliant insight into my soul; don't you have anything to back it up? One shred of proof that isn't dependent on you seeing something in how I look at her?"

Mandy stiffened in her chair. She was silent for a minute, averting her eyes from him before she began to speak. "I was terrified when I heard about the shooting."

Josh nodded, his expression softening slightly. "I know. We were all frightened."

Mandy shook her head, continuing on rapidly. "I wasn't afraid for the President. I was afraid for you. The whole way to the hospital all I could think about was you, and I realized that for some reason, I'm not over you."

"Mandy..." He breathed. Of all the words that could have come from her mouth, he would never have picked those. She was over him, he was sure of it.

"Don't." She ordered, not looking at him as she continued. "You know how I feel about confessions Josh. I'm just going to finish this, and then I'm going to leave." Pausing, she sucked in a deep breath. "When I heard that you were hurt, I thought my heart would stop. I just wanted to be with you, hold your hand and tell you everything would be okay."

"I didn't know you were there." Josh whispered.

"No." Mandy replied sadly. "You didn't know anyone but Donna was there."

"What do you want me to say?" Josh asked. "I had just been thrown to the ground by about fifty two hundred pound men, I wasn't exactly with it. I had a concussion. For God's sake Mandy, I was unconscious for most of the night."

"You knew she was there."

"In the morning." Josh countered. "Because she was there when I woke up. You weren't."

"You knew she was there when you were unconscious. You held onto her hand all night. I watched you. She left once, to get some coffee. You were agitated the whole time she was gone. I talked to you, held your hand, but it didn't help. Then she came back, and you were fine."

Josh stared at her, blowing out a frustrated sigh. "You're making too much of this."

"No, you're not making enough of it." Mandy retorted. "You're in love with her."

"I'm not." Josh answered, "But ignoring that, it's still no reason for you to leave."

"Did you not listen to me? I'm still in love with you Josh, and I can't do it. I can't sit and watch you with her. Or watch you hurt Joey because you're too blind to see what you really want."

"You're not in love with me." She couldn't be.

"I'm not fighting with you about this." She hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. "I wasn't happy here anyway Josh. You know that. I don't fit."

"You do. You will."

"I won't. I'm leaving." She leaned over, reaching into her bag and pulling out a plain white envelope. "Here's my resignation."

Josh took it, his face blank as he opened the envelope and read the letter. "I can't believe you're doing this."

"You've said that." She replied, smiling softly. "I know it's bad timing Josh, but what's the point of dragging it out?"

"We can fix this." Josh offered, but it was half-hearted. She wasn't going to change her mind, and he knew it.

"No." She shook her head. "We can't. We just have to leave it alone. I'll get over it."

Josh bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"You don't choose who you fall in love with."

"I did love you." He whispered. "You weren't ever second to me."

She smiled grimly, picking up her bag and walking towards the door. "Everyone in your life is second to her Josh. You've got to face that at some point. You're just going to end up hurting someone else."

"Joey Lucas."

Mandy shrugged. "I don't know how she feels about you, but maybe."

"I'm attracted to her. I like her. How could I feel that way if I'm in love with Donna?"

She laughed bitterly. "You're like a kid in a candy shop with his mother's permission to buy anything he wants."

"Okay." He paused. "That made no sense."

"You know you're not going to loose Donna. She's by your side for the long haul."

He sighed, wondering why he was even bothering to argue with her, he knew from experience, painful, excruciating experience, that once Mandy made up her mind, it was a pointless exercise. Still... "I'm not going to loose Donna because she's my assistant. She doesn't care who I date as long as I don't annoy her. Just like I don't care who she dates."

"Because you know she doesn't love them. Just like she knew you didn't really love me, and like she knows you aren't going to fall in love with Joey."

"So now you're saying that not only am I in love with Donna, but that she's in love with me too?" Josh asked, his face paling slightly.

Mandy pulled her bag over her shoulder, ignoring his question. "I'm leaving." She looked back at his stunned face, and took pity on him. "Don't worry Josh, Donna's just as blind as you. She'll probably never figure out exactly why she's so devoted to you." She shook her head, smiling ruefully at him. "Good-bye."

He nodded, remaining silent as she walked out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her. Then, his shoulders slumped, he walked around his desk, falling heavily into his chair, and staring up at the ceiling. He wondered lazily if he should run after her, try harder to convince her that she was insane, but in the end, couldn't be bothered. She was right about one thing, she hadn't been happy working in the West Wing. Not like he was.

The other thing, the thing with Donna, was just her excuse. She wasn't happy, and being Mandy, she couldn't just admit to it. It had to be someone else's fault. He'd let her accusations drive him almost crazy when he was dating her, he wasn't going to let her do it to him again. "Donna!" He yelled finally.

"Yes?" She replied after a minute, poking her head inside his office door. "You okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine." He waved her concern off. "Mandy quit."

"She quit?"

"That's what I said." He replied; his voice tinged with impatience. How could he be in love with her when she annoyed him so easily?

"Why?"

"Cause she's insane."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Isn't this a bad time for her to quit?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." She paused, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Did you just want to tell me that?"

"No."

"Well?" She prodded.

"Well?"

"What did you want?" She asked, her voice slightly irritated.

"Right. I need you to call Leo and tell him I need to see him."

"Margaret said Leo was going home early tonight."

"That was before the thing. He'll still be here."

"But she said..."

"I don't care what she said Donna. He'll be there."

"Fine." She spun around, pulling his door shut behind her as she left.

Josh watched her go, studying his reactions carefully. "I'm not in love with her." He announced to the empty room before picking up the file on top of the pile on his desk and flipping blindly through it.

"Josh!" Donna yelled at him through the closed door. "Leo can see you now."

Grabbing his jacket off his chair, he slipped it on as he opened the door to his office. Walking through the bullpen he paused at Donna's desk. "You couldn't come into my office to tell me?"

"No." She said simply.

"Why?"

"I have work to do."

"Yes, but you work for me. Shouldn't that include actually coming to tell me that Leo can see me instead of screaming at me through a closed door?"

"You would think." She answered, not turning away from her computer screen. "Leo's waiting."

"I know that." He replied lamely, shaking his head as he walked away from her and down the hall to Leo's office. The halls of the West Wing were less crowded than usual, most of the support staff having gone home before the news of the hostage situation became known. He figured they had about another half hour of relative calm before the halls were filled with people again.

Leo was waiting for him outside his office, and they went in, Josh filling him in quickly on Mandy's bombshell.

"She's quitting?" Leo asked when Josh had finished telling him about most of his conversation with Mandy.

"Yeah."

"She's quitting now?" Leo asked again, his voice rising slightly.

"Yeah."

"And you've told her what a bad move this is?" Leo inquired.

"Yeah."

Leo was quiet for a minute, and then he nodded. "Okay then. Mandy's gone. We'll worry about replacing her after this thing is done."

"Do we have anything new?" Josh asked, walking over and settling onto Leo's couch. "Have they asked for anything?"

"Other than their guy? No. The FBI profiler is expecting them to have their real demands any time now."

"Real demands? Asking us to free a guy who tried to kill the President wasn't real enough for them?"

"He thinks they know there's no way we can meet that demand."

"Did he have any clue as to what their actual demands may be?"

"He didn't want to speculate." Leo answered.

"Okay." He stood, walking towards the door. At the threshold he paused, looking back at Leo. "Isn't his job pretty much all speculation?"

"I thought so." Leo answered, going back to the file open on his desk. "I'll call if I hear anything."

"Okay."

~~~~~~

"Mr. President?" Leo stuck his head partly into the Oval office. "Are you busy?"

"That depends, are you here with good news or bad?"

"Well sir, it's one o'clock in the morning and I'm knocking on your door, what do you think?"

Sighing, the President waved his friend in, getting up from his desk and walking over to sit on the couch. "Just once Leo, I'd like you to come in with good news."

"I'll work on it." Leo offered, sitting on the couch across from him. "How is Zoe?"

"Shocked." The President answered. "She's on her way back here."

"Is Charlie with her?"

"Yes. I had them make up a guest room. I want him close."

"Did Zoe say how he was?"

"No."

"Okay." Leo shifted, leaning slightly forward as he continued onto his next task. "Mandy quit."

"What?"

"Mandy quit. She's going to work for Mike Brace."

"Isn't he a Republican?"

"Mandy's a consultant sir, I don't think she cares as much about their politics as she does about whether or not she can help them win."

The President nodded, looking thoughtful. "What happened?"

"Josh said she was upset because of the reminder of the thing in McClane. She feels guilty about pressing for you to send the negotiator in."

"It was my decision." The President reminded his friend. "She wasn't responsible."

"There seems to be a lot of misplaced guilt around here lately sir."

"Yeah." Sighing, Jed frowned at his friend. "She didn't exactly fit in here, did she?"

"No." Leo answered ruefully. "I don't know why. We all worked well together during the campaign."

"Maybe it has something to do with Josh?"

"Josh?"

The President nodded. "I don't think she's as over him as he is over her."

Leo thought over his words for a minute. "I felt like Josh wasn't telling me the whole story. He seemed to...I don't know, calm. It wasn't like Josh, normally he'd be furious."

The President stood, walking back over to his desk as the phone began to ring. "Look into it." He asked his friend, his eyes lighting with mischief. "There could be some good blackmail material there for when Josh balks at something."

Leo laughed, getting up and heading back to his office. "I'll talk to Sam tomorrow. He'll know what's going on." He paused at the door, turning back to his friend. "Sir? You've got to talk to Charlie."

The President met his eyes, his face drawn. "I know."

"Okay." Leo said, walking out of the office and leaving the President to his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~

Charlie was still lost in thought when their car pulled up at the White House, Zoe's hand tucked tightly in his as she struggled to give him some peace. He wished it could be that easy. That her touch could give him the same joy it once had.

Now, everything he did was colored by the deaths of two people, and the injuries of people he thought of as friends. Now, when he kissed her, he thought of the scar that marred his stomach, and the bullet that had ripped through him.

And he hated it. Hated that he knew what it felt like to have a bullet enter his body, hated that he knew what it felt like to watch a man die. Hated that he had to go into work every day and face the people who could have lost their lives because he loved Zoe.

Most of all, he hated that it wasn't his fault. He couldn't do anything about it, couldn't change who these gunmen were, or what they believed, any more than he could stop himself from hating them.

The only thing he could do was hold onto Zoe, reminding himself every day that there wasn't anything wrong in loving her.

But there was guilt there too. He searched the President's eyes every day, waiting for the hint of accusation, or the plea of a worried father to consider his daughter's safety. He didn't know what he'd do if that day ever came. He didn't know if he could just walk away from her, however selfish that choice might seem.

And that made him angry too. How could love be selfish? How could the color of his skin make his love anything other than another persons?

"Charlie?" Zoe interrupted his thoughts, tugging gently on his hand. "We're going up to the residence. Dad's still in the office, but he said for you to stay here tonight."

Charlie nodded, feeling an inkling of relief that he wouldn't have to search the President's eyes this night. "Okay."

"It's going to be fine." Zoe whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging to him in the quiet hallways leading to the residence.

"What if it isn't?" He asked slowly, his fingers trailing lightly over her back.

"This isn't your fault Charlie, any more than it's mine."

"I know." Charlie nodded, considering his next words carefully. "But it still feels wrong."

"What feels wrong?"

"Us. This. We shouldn't be happy when other people are dying."

"People die Charlie. And we can't be responsible for all of them."

"Yeah." He smiled weakly at her, wishing he could let himself believe her words. Leaving his arm around her shoulder, they walked silently to the residence.

  


	4. Pursuit of Happiness, The 4

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

Josh woke up the next morning in a foul mood. He hadn't slept for more than two hours, and on top of that, Mandy's accusations had filled the few dreams he had. Visions of the entire senior staff collectively chanting 'Josh and Donna up a tree' were still floating through his head as he entered the West Wing.

He shifted his backpack as he walked up the stairs, expecting Donna to be standing there as usual, with his morning dose of useless information. Instead, Leo was waiting. "Morning Josh."

"Morning Leo." Josh replied, looking suspiciously at his boss. "Have I done something stupid again?"

"No." Leo answered, a small smile crossing his face for an instant before being replaced with his usual stern expression. "I was just talking to Sam."

"Did Sam do something stupid?"

"No. He was just filling me in on the part of Mandy's leaving that you left out."

"The part that I left out?" He said slowly, trying to stall for time. His throat tightened as his eyes darted around the hallway, praying for Donna to appear with something that needed to be done at that instant.

"The part about you being in love with Donna." Leo said, his eyes crinkling with suppressed laughter as Josh stumbled. "You could have told me."

"I'm not in love with Donna." Josh answered, staring at the floor as he walked to avoid a repeat stumble.

"Right." Leo replied, his tone conveying his disbelief. "I've always wondered about your relationship with her."

"There's nothing to my relationship with Donna. I don't have a relationship with Donna. She's my assistant. That's all." Josh spoke rapidly, his voice rising in desperation. "Mandy was just looking for an excuse. To leave this job, and to break up with me."

"Well I can't blame her for trying to get away from you."

"Thank you." Josh replied bitterly. "Your support means everything to me."

"You have my support Josh." Leo answered. "I've spoken to the President, and we are fully in support of your relationship with Donna."

"I don't have a relationship with Donna." Josh whispered forlornly as Leo headed off in the direction of his office.

Shaking his head he continued down the hallway, stopping when he reached Sam's door. He knocked swiftly before opening it and stepping in, pulling it shut behind him.

Sam looked up from the brief he was reading, smiling at Josh. "Why do people bother to knock if they're just going to walk in anyway?"

"It's polite." Josh replied, walking over and sitting in the chair across from Sam. "And that'll probably be the last time I'm ever polite to you. In fact, from now on, when you see me coming you should probably head the other way."

Sam set down the brief, his brow furrowing in confusion. "And this is because?"

"You told Leo that Mandy thinks I'm in love with Donna."

"Oh that. Leo thought you were holding something back, so he called me."

"And you told him?" Josh pressed.

"I didn't think it was a big deal. It's kind of funny actually, at least Leo seemed to think so." Sam answered, grinning innocently.

"Well as long as I'm bringing laughter into your lives." Josh said sullenly, slumping back into the chair.

"Laughter's not a bad thing Josh." Sam said seriously, the grin fading from his face. "We could use a little more of it around here. This place has been so solemn lately."

Josh was quiet for a minute, studying his shoes intently. He didn't want to let this go, but he couldn't argue with Sam's point. Leo had born the brunt of the fallout from the shooting, dealing with the injured and containing the President and Toby's rage with his usual steadfast nature. But it had been hard on him, and lately he seemed older than he was. If this gave him a moment's respite, who was he to complain? He owed Leo more than that. "You won't tell anyone else?" He asked.

"Not a soul." Sam promised.

"Fine. Then it's over." Josh straightened up in his chair, his expression becoming serious. "Have we heard anything?"

Sam shrugged. "Not really. They asked for Chinese food at five in the morning, but nothing since then."

"Shouldn't they be making more demands by now?" He asked quietly.

Sam nodded, remaining silent.

Josh stood, shaking his head as he walked over to the door. "I'm hating this day and it's not even seven." He told Sam as he walked out of his office.

He hadn't taken more than three steps when Donna appeared at his side, looking fresh and well rested even though he knew she hadn't gotten any more sleep than he had. "Morning Donna."

"Morning Josh." She replied, coming into step beside him as they walked down the hall. Flipping through the notepad she carried, she continued. "You've got the meeting with Wick and Donovan at nine, you're scheduled to speak at the Rotary club at lunch, and you're expected in the Roosevelt room in five minutes."

"Okay. Cancel the lunch thing, and see if you can put Wick and Donovan off for a couple of days. I don't feel like wasting my time pandering to their egos today."

"We all know the only ego you like to pander to is your own." Donna replied with a grin, knocking against him as he stopped at the coffee table.

He froze for an instant, Mandy's words echoing in his head. Turning slightly, he considered Donna's expression. She looked happy, relaxed even. She certainly didn't look like she was hiding a deep passion for him.

But who was he to say she wasn't. Maybe he just didn't know how to read the signs. He could ask CJ, she was getting to be an expert in the signs. No, that road led to crazy, and he wasn't walking down it again.

It had been bad enough the first trip, when he'd actually been afraid that maybe Mandy was right, and he was in love with Donna and just didn't know it. It wouldn't be the first time he'd missed something right in front of his nose. He hadn't noticed Mandy was insane when he first met her, or that...

"Josh!" Donna said loudly, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No." He admitted with a shrug. "But then, how much of what you say do I really need to hear?" She stared at him, her eyes narrowing. He blew out a breath, taking a sip of his coffee before giving in. "I need to hear all of it."

"Yes." She agreed, the smile returning to her face. "But I'll just have to tell you later. You've got staff."

"I'm going." He told her, watching her as she headed off in the direction of her desk. He doubted she did anything when he wasn't there anyway, she probably sat in his office and watched TV or something.

"Why are you smiling?" CJ asked, startling him.

He jerked forward, spilling hot coffee down the front of his shirt. "God. CJ. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

"I wasn't sneaking." She grinned, patting him on the shoulder. "You were lost in thought, and from the look of your smile it was a good thought. Want to share?"

"No. It wasn't a good thought and I wasn't smiling."

"You were smiling. And I've got to tell you Josh, it was bordering on goofy." She grinned, taking the remainder of his coffee and downing it in one long gulp. Setting the cup down on the table, she sighed. "Now I'm ready to face the day."

Josh looked down at his now empty coffee cup and then at his watch. Shaking his head, he turned away from the table and followed CJ towards the Roosevelt room. "I, on the other hand," he informed her, "do not feel in the least bit equipped to handle this day."

The rest of the senior staff were already seated at the table when Josh walked in behind CJ. He didn't look at anybody as he sat down in the chair farthest from the rest of them, folding his arms across his chest.

"Okay. We'll make this quick. I know you've all got other stuff on the go." Leo began, winking in Josh's direction. "The latest on the hostage situation is that we don't know anything more than we did at three in the morning. These guys seem pretty content to take their time. Maybe they're thinking we'll get impatient and press the issue, giving them, in their minds, the right to become violent."

"But we're not going to do that, are we?" CJ asked, looking up over her glasses at Leo.

"Of course we're not going to do that." Toby answered for him, his voice caustic. "Cause that would be stupid, and we're not. In spite of all evidence to the contrary."

"Well thank you for that." CJ threw back, her voice rising slightly. "I can always count on you to bring a little sunshine into my life."

"I live to serve." Toby replied, settling back into his chair with a wry smile.

CJ shook her head, turning her attention back to Leo. "Are we commenting on this? I mean, it was on CNN before we even knew about it, it's not like we're keeping anything quiet."

Sam stirred, leaning his elbows on the table. "We should say something. But no questions. We're not commenting on how the President feels about the group that tried to kill him because they didn't like who his daughter is dating holding members of the cloth hostage."

"What can I say?" CJ asked.

"Say that our thoughts and prayers are with the hostages and we hope for a quick end to this situation. You might also want to add that we are in constant contact with the FBI and are offering any assistance we can."

"Fine. Good." CJ mumbled, her pen flying across the notepad in front of her.

"Has anyone told Zoe and Charlie yet?" Sam asked curiously. "They should know."

"Charlie's not going to take it well." CJ observed; her lips pulled in a grim line.

"Well can you blame him?" Josh asked, speaking for the first time. "He's still not fully recovered from the last time these guys tried to tell him who he should date."

"The President called Zoe last night. Charlie was with her." Leo replied, ignoring Josh's outburst. "They're in the residence with the President now. Josh, maybe you could take a minute today to talk to him, he seems to trust you."

"Done." Josh said.

"Okay then, that's it for now. We've got to go over the plan for 804, but I think it'll hold until this afternoon."

"Fine." Josh replied, grabbing his files and heading out the door. "I'm in my office all day." He called over his shoulder. ~~~~~~

"Charlie." The President greeted his aide as the younger man walked into the breakfast room of the residence. "Come, have some breakfast. I think your boss will understand if you're late."

Charlie smiled weakly, settling into the chair beside Zoe and silently pouring himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip before setting it down and turning to the President. "Have you heard anything?" He asked quietly, his eyes not quite meeting the President's.

"Well I heard that Josh is in love with Donna." The President joked mildly, his half smile fading as Charlie didn't react to his words at all.

"Josh and Donna?" Zoe asked. "That's cool."

"Have you heard anything?" Charlie repeated, his voice quietly desperate.

"No." The President replied, just as quietly. "But that could be a good thing. They may have lost their nerve."

Charlie snorted bitterly. "With all due respect sir, these men are members of the same group that tried to kill you. I don't think they're lacking in nerve."

"No. I guess they're not." The President answered reluctantly.

"They are lacking in brains." Zoe offered angrily. "Do they honestly think that you're going to let the man that tried to kill you out of jail?"

"That's not what they really want." Charlie said in a low voice, lifting his head to meet the surprised eyes of the President.

"How do you know that?" The President asked, setting his fork down on his plate and listening intently.

"They're Americans sir, in their minds, the only truly patriotic Americans. They know the laws of this land, probably better than you do. And they're not stupid, in spite of how badly I want to believe they are. They're not doing this out of loyalty to their comrade, they're doing it because they want the fact that I'm dating your daughter to remain in the public eye. So that all of America can share their disgust at our relationship." Bitterness dripped from every word he spoke, his eyes burning with anger.

"All of America doesn't share their disgust." The President reminded him. "It's a very small group Charlie."

"It's a murderous group Mr. President, that gives them a louder voice." Charlie answered.

"We're not listening to them Charlie." Zoe whispered, her hand reaching over to cover his.

"We are Zoe." He answered, turning to his girlfriend. "The whole world is listening."

"Then the whole world will hear that they're wrong." The President said firmly, patting Charlie on the shoulder as he walked by. "I'm going to the West Wing now. You don't have to rush."

"Thank you Mr. President." Charlie replied; his gaze focused on the empty plate in front of him as the President left the room. 

~~~~~~~~


	5. Pursuit of Happiness, The 5

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

Josh walked slowly back to his office, realizing that if anything had gone on in the first ten minutes of the meeting that he'd needed to know about, he'd be sunk. Instead, he'd spent that time going through his mind for any hint that Donna was in love with him. Not that he wanted her to be, it was just that Mandy thought she saw something, and obviously Leo wasn't disagreeing with her.

A small voice at the back of his head reminded him that Leo had agreed that he was in love with Donna, not the other way around, but he put a lid on that voice quickly.

"Josh." The object of his thoughts appeared beside him, waving a piece of paper. "I got the thing." She chirped happily.

"The thing?" He asked, tilting his head so that he could look at her.

"The thing?" She prodded. "For my car? The loan. The one you wouldn't co-sign?"

"I'm not co-signing a loan for someone who can't even remember to pay a parking ticket."

She scowled at him, and then shook her head. "I pay them."

"When they send you a court date Donna. You're probably the only person in the world who almost ended up in jail over parking."

"I doubt I'm the only one Josh." She replied frostily, her step quickening.

He shook his head, running to catch up with her. "Sorry. I'm having a weird morning."

"You too?" She asked, cocking her head slightly. "Leo was really nice to me this morning. He actually sat and listened while I complained about you."

Josh swore under his breath, making a mental note to throw himself at Leo's mercy if the other man would just let this go. "You complain about me?" He asked with mock hurt. "What could you possibly have to complain about?"

"I couldn't even begin to tell you." She laughed, lifting the paper again to wave it in his face. "But back to me. I will soon be the proud owner of a '99 Jeep."

"A jeep?"

"Yes."

"You're buying a jeep? With a removable top I suppose?"

"Yes."

"You do know it gets cold here in the winter?"

"Yes." She stopped walking, her smile fading. "I want a Jeep Josh."

"Fine." He gave in, smiling at her until she was grinning again. "I'll expect you here every morning with windblown hair and bugs in your teeth."

She glared at him, and then asked seriously. "Is there anything new?"

He shook his head, wondering if he'd ever get used to her quick changes of subject. "Bumper car thoughts." He muttered. That was the only way to describe the way her thoughts hit one another sending her off in a totally new direction, leaving him struggling to catch up.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged, as she shot him a grin to tell him that she knew what he said, and that she'd be bringing it up at a later date. He paused; almost stumbling again as he realized that he knew what most of her expressions meant. He could tell from a look if she was angry, or sad, or playful. He knew when he could push her, and when he couldn't. How had that happened? She was his assistant, he shouldn't know that much about her. Or care.

But, for some reason, he knew the signs. In fact, now that he thought about it, the only sign he didn't know was the one that meant she did or didn't love him.

"Josh, you're acting very strange. Is something wrong?" Donna asked, her head tilted towards his.

"Are you in love with me?" He asked bluntly, figuring that asking was the swiftest way to get the thought out of his head.

Donna stopped walking, her features frozen in shock. "What?"

"Are you in love with me?" He asked again, refusing to let the question embarrass him.

"What?" She repeated, the shock on her face changing into disbelief.

"I said..."

"I heard what you said Josh." She interrupted. "I'm just working past the shock."

"Okay." He said, walking back to stand in front of her. "Are you done yet?"

She shook her head slowly. "I don't think so."

"Now?"

She glared at him. "Where did this come from?"

"I don't know." He began, faltering slightly. "Something Mandy said. It was bugging me."

"So you decided to share?"

"Well I figured you'd just say you weren't and then I could move on."

"And what if I am?" She asked, a playful smile replacing her earlier shock.

"Are you?" He asked, his voice rising. Taking a step away from her, he asked again, panic clear in his voice. "Are you?"

Donna laughed, shaking her head. "Have I ever done anything to make you think I was?"

"No."

"Have I ever flirted with you, or acted jealous of your assorted girlfriends?"

"No." He said slowly. "And they aren't assorted. You make them sound like lifesavers." He paused, closing the distance between them again. "Anyway, I'm asking the questions here."

"You're asking stupid questions." She observed. "And I have to fax this to the bank." Waving the paper, she spun away from him, walking rapidly down the hallway.

He stood, staring blankly at her retreating figure, trying to decide if he felt better or worse.

"Hey Josh." Sam greeted him, coming to a stop beside him. "How come you're standing in the middle of the hallway?"

"I'm trying to figure out if Donna's in love with me." He answered, turning to face his friend. "Do you think she is?"

Sam frowned. "You're still on this? I thought we were leaving it behind."

"I'm not on anything. It was bothering me, so I asked."

"She got to you." Sam said with a grin. "Mandy got to you. Just like she did the last time." Josh glared at him as he continued. "At least this time you're not avoiding Donna like she's got leprosy."

"I didn't avoid her."

"You spent two weeks hiding out in my office. You told her you had a cold and didn't want to give it to her. You..."

"I get the picture." Josh interrupted him.

"I'm starting to agree with her." Sam said teasingly, taking a step away from Josh as he spoke.

"You think Donna's in love with me?"

"No." Sam clarified. "I don't know how Donna feels. I think you're in love with her though."

"No." Josh said firmly. "It's not possible. I would know."

"But you think Donna could be in love with you?"

Josh scowled at the disbelief in Sam's tone. "I'm a catch."

"So's Donna." Sam replied, patting Josh on the back as he walked quickly away.

Josh glared after his friend. "I know that."

~~~~~~

Charlie remained silent after the President had left the room. Zoe looked over her shoulder, sharing a worried look with Gina before turning back to her boyfriend. "Charlie?"

He looked up, his face blank. "I couldn't sleep last night." He whispered. "I kept seeing the shooting, hearing the bullets. I don't want it to happen again Zoe."

"It's not going to." She whispered back, sliding her chair over so that their shoulders were touching. "The FBI are going to get them, and no one's going to be hurt."

"You don't know that." He replied. "I never thought they'd get to the President either, but they did."

"Charlie."

"They shot at us Zoe. They killed two people. I got shot. They wanted us all to die. And why?"

"Charlie." She whispered, her tone begging him to stop.

"Because we're in love. Because my skin is black and yours isn't. They thought that was reason enough. How can that be possible?"

"I don't know." She replied, tears slipping down her cheeks as she leaned into his shoulder. "I don't know."

He pulled away from her, turning her head to face him. "I don't want to lose you Zoe."

"You're not going to." She promised him, leaning forward to press her lips against his in a soft kiss.

"But I don't want anyone else to die." He continued, as if he hadn't heard her. "I don't think I could stand for anyone else to die."

"Charlie, it isn't your choice. You can't control the world."

"I can stop this." He whispered. "If I leave. If we aren't together."

"No." She said firmly, her voice choking up. "You can't do that Charlie. You can't give in. That's what they want, and they can't have it."

"I feel so guilty." He replied. "I keep telling myself that I didn't do it, that I didn't fire the guns, but I still feel like there's blood on my hands."

"There isn't." Zoe whispered. "You're a good person Charlie. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know that Zoe." He answered quietly. "But they don't, and they're the ones with the guns."

~~~~~~~~~

"Toby." CJ called down the hall, stepping up her pace to catch up to the Communications director.

"What?" He asked, slowing his step almost imperceptibly to allow her to catch up.

"I'm hearing a rumor." CJ stated, looking over her shoulder as if she expected the White House press core to be hiding in the shadows.

"About the hostage situation?" Toby asked.

"No. About Mandy and Mike Brace."

"Mandy and Mike Brace? Tell me she's not starting that up again."

"Again?"

"She thought she could work for both the White House and Mike Brace." Toby said in disgust. "I thought she understood it was impossible."

"I heard she quit." CJ said in a low voice. "Last night."

"She wouldn't." Toby replied, his step quickening again. "Did you ask Josh about this?"

"I can't find Josh."

"Sam?"

"I'll find him." CJ agreed, turning away from Toby.

"Wait." He called after her. "I'm coming with you."

They walked quickly down the hall to Sam's office, not bothering to knock before they walked in. Sam looked up, his ready smile fading as he looked at them. "Did something happen?"

"I don't know Sam, why don't you tell us?" Toby inquired.

"Okay." Sam said agreeably, settling back into his chair. "What have I done now? It can't be sleeping with a prostitute, because I've already done that. And it can't be my writing, because I haven't given the speech to you yet, so, I have to tell you, I'm at a loss."

"Did Mandy quit?" CJ asked.

Sam winced, looking in Toby's direction. "I knew there was something I had to tell you."

Toby frowned, advancing on Sam. "I asked you if there was anything I needed to know. I sat in this office, and said, 'Sam, is there anything I need to know?' and do you know what you said?"

"I said no." Sam admitted.

"You said no." Toby replied, his voice growing louder. "You said, 'No Toby, there's been no change since last night.'"

"I thought we were talking about the hostage situation." Sam defended himself. "I wasn't thinking about Mandy."

"Why did she quit?" CJ asked curiously. "And why did she quit now?"

Sam shrugged, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. "She wasn't happy."

"Happy?" Toby repeated in an outraged tone. "She wasn't happy? Does she think any of us are happy?"

Sam sunk down in his chair, looking up at his boss. "To be honest, until you walked into my office, I wasn't unhappy."

Toby glared at him silently.

CJ shook her head, collapsing into a chair. "What am I going to tell the press? That the White House isn't a happy place?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged. "Ask Leo. Ask Josh."

"They know?" Toby asked, his eyes flashing. "You managed to tell them?"

"She gave her resignation to Josh. He told Leo." Sam answered.

CJ nodded. "Well, that explains why I can't find Josh. He must be in a rage somewhere."

Sam smiled, ducking his head away from the two of them. "You could say that."

CJ tilted her head, looking suspiciously at him. "Did something else happen Sam?"

"Ask Josh." He said firmly, returning his attention to the computer. "I have to finish this speech so that Toby can tear it apart."

Toby glared at him again, spinning around and walking out of the office. CJ considered Sam for moment longer and then shrugged, following Toby out.

~~~~~~~~~

  


	6. Pursuit of Happiness, The 6

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

It seemed to Leo, as he sat trying to focus on the brief in front of him, that the halls of the West Wing were much quieter than normal. Usually, even from his tucked away office, he could almost feel the hum of energy as people went about their day, helping to run the country.

Now, because of the Aryan Resurrection, and the hostage taking, it was as quiet as it had been immediately after the shooting. He didn't have to go into the corridors to know that people had the same sadness in their eyes, and that their steps had slowed so that instead of racing through the hallways, they plodded along, as if barely able to move. He didn't have to hear their whispered words to know that they were caught in the same web of fear and anger that he was.

What he didn't know was what he was supposed to do about it.

Shaking his head, he closed the brief, realizing that it would have to wait another couple of hours. He sat quietly at his desk for a minute before reaching into the lower left drawer and pulling a slim file from it. Opening it on his desk, he leaned over it, his elbows pressed into the wood as the words echoed in his head.

"Two nights ago, three men attempted to kill me. They did succeed in killing two men who had dedicated their life to protecting the office of the President. Three children will grow up without their father. Countless others will carry the burden in a less obvious way. They'll start at loud noises, or shake if someone looks at them for too long. Never again will they serve the President with the same fearlessness they've shown before.

"And why?

"The Aryan Resurrection has stated publicly that the three gunmen were members of their group, and that they believe their actions were the only possible way for them to save our country from destruction. They believe that because my daughter is dating an African American, I am no longer able to carry the office of President. They were willing, eager in fact, to kill me, and anyone who stood in their way, to prevent me from remaining in office.

"They are wrong. There can be no mistake about that.

"I'd like to read you a sentence from the Declaration of Independence. 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.'"

"I do not take these rights lightly. We've fought too hard, and paid too high a cost to take them lightly.

"But I cannot sit and tell this country, or even myself, that these men had a right to act the way they did. They were given liberty, and they choose to use it to destroy. They were given life, and they used it to take it from others. They were given the right to pursue happiness, but it came at the cost of pain and suffering to their fellow citizens."

Leo stopped reading, his eyes lingering on the page. Maybe things would have been different if the President had read this speech. If Toby's words had been given a voice, and offered to the American people.

But they hadn't been. It had been decided, by him, and by the President, that doing so would only anger the hate groups further, and they had both been held back by fear of giving them more of a voice than they already had.

But now, they had taken more. And the President's silence hadn't given them anything but more regret.

Shoving his chair back violently, Leo stood, crossing the floor to the Oval office, and tapping firmly before pushing the door open.

"Mr. President?" Leo spoke in a low voice, hesitating in the doorway to the Oval office, unsure of his purpose in coming here. Did he want to enrage the President? Fire him up so that he felt the same gut clenching anger that he did? Or was he just looking for someone to tell him that their decision had been right, and that giving the speech wouldn't have made any difference? "You got a minute?"

The President looked up, closing the file in front of him. Shaking his head grimly, he answered. "I'm not getting anything done anyway."

Leo nodded in understanding, walking further into the room, and waiting as the President stood and made his way over to the couch. After he had settled, Leo crossed the room to sit on the couch across from him. "How are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"How do you think I'm doing?" The President responded, his voice thick with repressed anger. "The Aryan Resurrection isn't just holding those people hostage, they've got me too."

"Sir."

The President continued, his voice growing more strident. "I spoke to Charlie this morning. He said something that really hit home." He shifted, his eyes pinning Leo's. "The entire country and most of the world is watching this Leo. They're remembering that barely a month ago this same group tried to kill their President. They're remembering the funerals of the men they did kill. And they're wondering why I'm letting this happen."

"You're not letting it happen." Leo disagreed, leaning forward to emphasize his words. "You can't control their actions. You can't make them stop hating."

The President frowned, his head dropping into his hands. "I feel like I'm ten years old again Leo, and letting crabby old Mr. Kingsley blame me for something I didn't do. Except now, instead of getting my fingers rapped with a ruler, people are dying."

"It's not your fault." Leo reminded him.

The President nodded as if he was agreeing with Leo's words. "That's what I should tell Charlie. It wasn't his fault. I haven't, you know. I want to, but something always stops me."

"What?"

"I think because in some small part of me I believed that maybe the solution to this was for Charlie to leave. And I'm so angry at myself for even thinking it."

Leo exhaled slowly, shaking his head. "And that small part now, Mr. President?"

"I've exiled it." The President said with a grim smile. "Never to return. But I'm still angry Leo."

"We're all angry sir."

"The Aryan Resurrection." The President said bitterly. "Like they're the second coming. Jesus Christ was born Jewish. He helped the poor and the dirty. He washed the feet of a prostitute. He died for the sins of the world. How can they compare what they believe to his life?"

"They believe..." Leo began.

"I know what they believe." The President cut him off, his voice bitter. "I know more than I ever wanted to about what they believe."

A knock on the door paused their conversation, their heads turning to see who the visitor was. Toby stood in the doorway, his face empty of expression. "If you're busy?"

The President shook his head, waving Toby into the room. "No. What can I do for you?"

Toby frowned, walking over and handing a thick folder to the President. "This is the stuff on mandatory minimums. Congressman Wyatt sent it over."

"Andie." The President corrected with a small smile, taking the folder from Toby and setting it down beside him. "You call her Andie."

Toby ignored him. "It's an interesting read Mr. President. She's made some strong arguments."

"I'll read it." The President told him, his face growing serious. "How are you doing?"

Toby stiffened, his eyes avoiding the President. "About the hostages?"

"Yes."

Toby nodded, taking a step backwards. "I haven't written any speeches yet sir."

"I think the first one still applies Toby." Leo answered, thinking of the paper still lying open on his desk.

"It was a good speech." The President reminded Toby.

Nodding, Toby replied. "Yes sir, it was. It was also true."

"And you think I should have given it?"

Toby hesitated, his brow furrowing. "Yes sir. I still think you should."

The President nodded. "Do you understand why I didn't? It would have given them to much power. We can't respond to their threats, it just gives them more weight."

"With all due respect sir, I believe you're wrong."

"Why am I not surprised?"

Toby flinched, his eyes darting to the door leading to Charlie's desk. "Charlie's not in yet?"

The President followed his eyes, his expression darkening. "I told him to take his time. This is hard on him."

"Because he feels responsible." Toby stated, pacing slowly around the room. "Like you feel responsible."

"He's not responsible, any more than I am. I can't control what these people do." The President answered, echoing Leo's reassurances to him.

"But you can control what you do." Toby answered.

"And you think giving the speech will make me feel better?"

Toby frowned. "What I think Mr. President, is that when Hitler sent his army out to collect all the Jews, when he forced them into concentration camps, and when he murdered them, there were more people who knew what he was doing was wrong than believed in him." He stopped moving, turning to face the President as he continued. "And as much as I detest Hitler, and everything he stood for, do you know who I'm still angry with? Those people." He paused, his head bowing for a moment in respect. "Six million people died because of one man's hatred, and millions of others silence."

"And because I didn’t give your speech, you think I’m condoning their actions."

Toby shook his head. "I don't think you are sir. But I also don't think hatred wins because of the actions of those who hate; I think it wins because of the inaction of those who don't. We can't just sit here and pat ourselves on the back because we think we're better than them, because we know we're right and they're wrong. We have to stand up and say it. And we have to continue saying it until every last drop of hatred and racism has disappeared. Until there are no mouths left to spew their venom or point their guns."

"We can't make them disappear Toby. Freedom of speech, freedom of expression, they've got a right to say what they believe."

"I don't want to take that right from them sir. I just want us to avail ourselves of it too."

"And may the better man win." The President replied softly.

"I believe we will sir." Toby responded. "I have too."

Margaret interrupted the conversation, her face solemn as she motioned to Leo. "The FBI are on the phone."

Leo stood, nodding to the President. "I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks." The President turned to Toby. "I'll be thinking about what you said."

~~~ 

Josh's day didn't exactly recover from the disaster that was the morning. Donna had disappeared and Sam was amusing himself by calling every hour to find out if he'd admitted he was in love with Donna yet.

And then, just when he thought things might be leveling out, Joey Lucas appeared in his doorway. He'd had a moment of happiness that was quickly shattered when she informed him that she was on her way back to LA, and to Al Keifer. He'd tried to argue with her, but Mandy had gotten to her first, and Joey Lucas was now firmly in the 'Josh loves Donna' camp.

It was getting to be a fairly crowded camp. He seemed to be the only one who didn't want to go. Well, there was also Donna. She didn't appear to want to be at camp, or even at the White House if it meant he was going to be there.

And it sucked. He was discovering as the morning turned into afternoon that Donna actually did quite a bit to keep his day running smoothly and now that he had convinced her he was insane, she'd left him to the sharks. Which meant he'd spent an hour on the phone with the head of the committee for something that he thought might either be an endangered animal or a disease, and then spent another hour trying to find the file that he needed for his meeting with Leo.

Obviously he was going to have to apologize.

But after his meeting. Maybe by then she'd have forgotten that he was an idiot. She always had before. With his decision made he leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and letting his thoughts drift.

"So this is what you do when I'm gone." Donna said, walking into his office and sitting in the chair across from him. "No wonder you're always here late."

Josh sat up, shaking his head as he stared at her. "Where were you?" He asked sharply.

"I decided to take the papers to the bank instead of faxing them." She answered calmly, her eyebrows arching slightly in warning.

There it was again, he realized. He was reading her expression. That had to stop. "You're supposed to be working."

"I'm here now."

"Well that doesn't rewrite the last few hours does it?" He inquired.

"You didn't look very busy when I walked in here." She observed with a small smile.

"Well I am." He replied irritably. "I'm a very busy man. I've been working all morning, a morning, may I add, that was made more difficult by your disappearance, not to mention your creative filing."

"Do you need me to get a file for you?" She asked, the smile still playing on her lips.

"No. I found it." He admitted reluctantly.

"Okay." She stood, walking towards the door. He caught himself watching her go, and forced his attention to the file open in front of him. She stopped at the door, turning back to face him. "I was thinking about your Mandy problem."

"My Mandy problem?" He repeated, wishing feverently that he had just let it go when he had the chance.

Donna sighed. "She made you think I was in love with you? Ringing any bells?"

"Thanks Donna." He replied, setting down his pen. "I'd finally gotten it out of my head, and was back to thinking about things that are actually important."

"Fine." She shrugged, turning back to the door.

"Wait." He stopped her, waiting until she'd turned back to face him. "What were you thinking about it?"

"The shooting." She answered, using the same quiet tone they'd all adopted for talking about the attempted assassination.

"Huh?"

"The hostage situation has brought up all the memories of the shooting."

"Well of course it did Donna, the same group's responsible." He remarked with a hint of impatience.

"Right." She said, clearly expecting him to make the same leap she had. When his expression remained blank, she explained. "You don't want to be reminded of it. So, you're focusing on something else, namely Mandy's accusations."

"That's stupid." He dismissed her. "I am not afraid to be reminded of the shooting. I think about it all the time."

"Fine." She turned and walked quickly from the office, the straightness of her back warning him to avoid her for the next hour or so.

He shook his head, adding another sign to the list of ones he recognized. "Well that went well." He told himself, lowering his head onto his desk. 

~~~~~~

  


	7. Pursuit of Happiness, The 7

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

A huge thanks to NBG for beta-ing this, and for being so kind.

 

"Good Morning Mrs. Landingham." Charlie said as he walked to his desk, forcing his voice to sound cheery.

"Good Morning Charlie." She answered, pointing to the cookie jar. "Want a cookie?"

"No thank you." He replied, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to eat until the hostage situation had ended.

"It's not your fault Charlie." Mrs. Landingham offered, her smile understanding.

"So they say." He answered, turning on his computer, and looking away from her.

He worked silently for over an hour, jumping every time the phone rang, praying that it was the phone call to tell them it was all over, and that everyone was safe.

"Charlie?" The President stuck his head out of the Oval office. "Can you come in here?"

He nodded, getting up quickly and walking towards the open door. His palms were sweating as the President motioned him to a seat, and then sat on the chair across from him.

"We haven't talked much lately Charlie." The President began.

"No sir."

"Why is that?"

"You're a busy man sir."

"I always found time before."

"Yes sir."

The President nodded, leaning forward in his chair as he continued. "I was afraid to talk to you." He admitted. "I didn't know what to say."

"Sir?"

"I know you feel responsible for the shooting, and while I know you're not, I wasn't sure how to convince you of that."

"And you are now?" He asked, torn between disbelief and hope.

"No." The President looked down, staring at the carpet. "I was hoping that my saying you weren't would be enough."

"Sorry sir." Charlie replied. "It's not that easy."

"I know."

"I was thinking I should leave." Charlie admitted. "Maybe if I'm not so visible."

"You can't." The President replied. "Zoe would be heartbroken."

"Not Zoe." He corrected him. "Work. The White House."

"How would that help anything?"

"Zoe and I could stay out of sight, no one would even have to know I still existed."

The President shook his head forcefully. "That's not an option Charlie."

"Zoe would be safer." He whispered, meeting the eyes of the father of the woman he loved. "And I think we both want that."

"I want a world were things like this don't happen." The President replied. "I want it not to matter what color your skin is."

"So do I." Charlie whispered. "But it does, to some people at least. And I think that it probably would be best if I left."

"You're not leaving."

"With all due respect sir, you can't stop me from quitting."

The President shook his head. "I'm not accepting your resignation."

"There are limits to your power sir. You can't refuse to let me quit."

"No." The President said firmly. "Josh hired you. You'll have to take it up with him."

Charlie nodded, getting to his feet. "I'm sorry sir. I didn't want for this to happen."

The President stood, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "It hasn't happened yet Charlie. Until Josh accepts your resignation, you still work for me."

"That's only a formality sir."

The President's smile grew broader. "I forgot to tell you this morning Charlie, but Mandy quit last night. She gave her resignation to Josh also. I think you'll find you've got a fight on your hands."

"I thought you said he and Donna just got together, won't that make him happy?"

"You were listening to me!" The President exclaimed. "And you just ignored my little joke?"

"Yes sir." Charlie replied, feeling a small smile of his own forming.

"Josh doesn't know he's in love with Donna yet. Apparently Mandy knew, and she told Josh." The President frowned, his voice puzzled as he continued. "Or something like that. Leo knows the whole story."

"He doesn't know?" Charlie asked; his face creased in confusion.

"That's what they tell me." The President answered, walking over to his desk. "I've learned not to ask to many questions about my staff, it just frightens me." He picked up a file, and settled into his chair. "Good luck with Josh." He added.

"It's not going to be a problem." Charlie insisted.

"Then why aren't you already gone?" The President responded, his eyebrows arching slightly before he bent over his desk.

"I'm leaving now." Charlie answered, walking over to the door. He paused by the door, turning back. "I did enjoy working for you sir."

The President didn't look up from the paper he was reading. "You'll have plenty more time to enjoy it Charlie."

Shaking his head, Charlie walked the rest of the way out of the office, sitting down at his computer to write his resignation. He briefly considered calling Zoe to tell her what he had done, but decided to wait and tell her once it was finished. 

~~~~~

Josh decided after Donna walked out that it might be a good plan if he just hid in his office until the staff meeting. He wasn't positive any conversation he started with Donna would end up in any place that was good, or even neutral.

Sighing, he knocked his fist against the desk, wondering exactly when he was going to learn to keep his mouth shut. Mandy would be giddy with joy if she knew that she'd managed to drive him crazy once last time. Not that he was planning on telling her. No, his next conversation with Mandy was already blocked out, starting with him yelling at her, and ending pretty much the same way.

A tap at the door made him look up, his expression wary as he waited for Donna to barge in. He never could figure out why, if she knocked so softly, did she somehow manage to walk into his office so loudly, blocking out everything else.

"Hey buddy." Sam greeted him instead, peeking his head in through the door. "You coming to the meeting?"

"Is it time?" He asked, looking down at his watch for confirmation when Sam nodded. Standing up, he walked over to the door, stopping before he got there. "Is Donna out there?" He asked quietly.

Sam looked back over his shoulder. "Nope. The coast is clear."

"Okay." Josh nodded, moving quickly as he pushed past Sam and into the hallway. "And don't start thinking I'm avoiding her." He added as he raced out of the bullpen and down the hall towards the Roosevelt room, his eyes darting nervously around for Donna.

Sam smirked. "I wasn't thinking that."

"You were thinking that. I know you and I know you were thinking that. But I am not avoiding her." He paused. "Or at least I'm avoiding her for a totally different reason than you think."

"Because she's mad that you asked her if she was in love with you?" Sam asked.

Josh groaned, shaking his head in disgust. When had he become so obvious? "Among other things." He admitted reluctantly, regretting it the second Sam began to laugh.

"She's going to keep you in line." Sam offered, biting back another round of laughter.

"There is no line that can keep me." He replied, speeding up, and leaving Sam to trail after him into the Roosevelt room.

"Hey Josh." CJ greeted him, slipping into the seat beside him. "Where've you been all day?"

"He's been hiding." Sam answered, pulling out the chair on the opposite side of Josh.

Josh narrowed his eyes as he turned on Sam. "I just want you to know that the next time you accidentally sleep with a prostitute, I'm going to be the one calling the press."

Sam grinned. "Call girl."

"Shut up." Josh muttered, turning away from him.

"What's going on with you two?" CJ asked curiously, leaning across the table to meet Sam's eyes. "Does this have something to do with Mandy quitting?"

"No." Josh replied firmly, barely able to keep himself from sighing in relief when Leo walked into the room followed by a very cranky looking Toby.

"Good afternoon." Leo began, tossing a pile of folders onto the table and looking around the room. "I just got off the phone with Todd Hanson, the FBI negotiator, and he's fairly sure things are going to speed up soon. They've asked for a laptop computer."

"They're going to e-mail us their demands?" Sam asked with a smile, earning a glare from the other occupants of the room.

"Well you're just the soul of compassion." Toby observed; his eyes flashing as he met Sam's.

"I'm sorry." Sam apologized.

"Some people do use humor as a coping mechanism." CJ informed Toby. "Maybe Sam is."

"He's using it badly." Toby replied. "As he does with every other form of communication."

"No way." Sam leaned forward, his face grim. "You're not starting in on me now. I'm a good writer."

"Hey!" Leo interrupted, slamming his hands down on the table. "We've got a situation here, and I don't want to have to tell the President that I couldn't keep his senior staff in the loop because they're too busy bickering."

"Sorry." They mumbled, still shooting each other glares.

"What is with you people?" Leo asked, shaking his head as he picked up a piece of paper from the top of his files. "Moving on. Josh, where are we on 804?"

"We're pretty much in the same place. I don't think it can work Leo, not like it is now. There's no way we're going to get enough people on board. I've barely been able to hold onto the few I've gotten in the boat."

"I was hoping for something a little more hopeful Josh." Leo informed him.

Josh nodded, opening the file he held in his hand and passing the top few sheets to Leo. "I reworked it a bit this morning. It's not quite the sweeping change we envisioned, but I think it might have a chance of passing this way."

Leo took the sheets from him, glancing down at them quickly. "I'll read this over and get back to you."

"Okay." Josh answered, sinking back into his chair now that his part of the meeting was dealt with.

"CJ?" Leo asked, turning to face the Press secretary. "The briefing?"

"Went smoothly." She answered. "They're wondering if the President is going to speak to the press about it, but for now, no one's pushing."

"Good." Leo nodded, moving onto Sam and Toby. "You guys finished with the thing yet?"

"Yes." Sam answered at the same time Toby shook his head.

"We are not finished." Toby told Sam. "I told you the whole second page was garbage. Have you rewritten it yet?"

"The second page is not garbage." Sam argued.

"You used like three words the whole page. A second grader could have done a better job."

"I used language appropriate to the audience."

"Is the audience learning disabled?" Toby inquired.

"Okay children, settle down." Leo ordered, pounding on the desk with both hands for emphasis. Toby and Sam stopped arguing, their eyes still flashing as they turned to look at Leo. "I know we're all a little tense about the hostage situation, but fighting with each other isn't going to make us feel better."

"It makes me feel better." Toby observed; his face still creased into a scowl.

"Fighting always makes you feel better." Sam growled back.

"Stop." Leo broke in before Sam and Toby were at each other's throats again. "Be civil."

Josh looked up from the papers in front of him. "I think we're fighting because the hostage situation is making us think too much about the shooting."

Leo, CJ, Sam and Toby turned to face him. "What are you talking about?" Toby asked in an annoyed voice.

"Nothing." Josh backed off, not wanting to redirect Toby's anger from Sam. "Just something Donna said."

"Was that before or after she told you she wasn't in love with you?" Sam asked innocently, his eyes flashing with sudden mirth.

Josh glared at him as CJ leaned across the table, asking curiously. "Why would Donna tell you she wasn't in love with you?"

"She didn't" Josh replied, still glaring at Sam. He turned to CJ, feeling a flush climbing up his neck. "Exactly. I just...I'm going to hurt you Sam" He finished lamely.

Sam laughed. "Mandy told Josh he was in love with Donna, and being Josh, he decided that must mean Donna was in love with him."

"You're in love with Donna?" CJ asked.

"No." Josh said firmly. "I am not."

"Then why did Mandy think you were?" She pressed, not waiting for an answer before continuing. "Although, I've always suspected there was something there."

Leo nodded in agreement. "They've got a certain chemistry."

"There is no chemistry." Josh replied quickly.

"I've seen chemistry." Toby observed quietly.

Josh turned to him in disbelief. "You'd turn on me too?"

Toby shrugged. "Leo wants us to get along."

Josh slumped back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. "How bad is this going to get?" He asked weakly.

CJ grinned. "Oh, I'd say it's going to be pretty bad."

Sam and Leo nodded in agreement before Leo stood and walked over to the door. "Okay. We've got a busy few weeks ahead of us and none of it's going to be fun. Added to that, we're all on edge over this hostage situation. Luckily, Josh has stepped in and offered us something to take our mind off the seriousness of running this country.'

"It is a serious business." Josh said with more than a hint of desperation. "And I think it would be best if we just put the last few minutes out of our heads and concentrated on our jobs."

Leo walked out the door, tossing his last comment over his shoulder. "Not a chance."

Josh watched him go before slumping even lower in his seat. "You're a dead man Sam." He vowed, waiting until the rest of the senior staff had disappeared before venturing out of the room.

"Josh!" Donna's angry voice chased him down the hallway. He paused; turning back to see his assistant headed for him. And this day just keeps getting better, he thought, plastering what he hoped was an innocent smile on his face.

"What's up?" He greeted her.

"What's up?" She repeated slowly, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Josh backed up a step. "Okay, maybe a better question would be..."

"Why are you telling people that I'm in love with you?" She interrupted, tapping her toe rapidly on the carpeted floor.

"Whoa. What?"

"Why are you..."

"I heard you."

"Well?"

"I'm thinking." He responded, mentally upping the retribution he was planning for Sam.

"Think faster." She ordered.

He smiled weakly at his furious assistant. "I told Sam. That's not telling everyone."

"It's Sam."

"Sam's usually a trustworthy guy."

"He told Mallory he slept with a prostitute the first day he met her."

"He made a mistake."

"Well now he's made two." She shot back, spinning around and stalking down the hall. Josh sighed, wondering how come she always seemed to leave him behind now.

"Trouble in paradise?" Leo asked, coming to stand beside him.

Josh scowled half-heartedly at him. "Donna's a little ticked."

"She looked more than a little." Leo observed. "I take it the gossip mill is running at full speed."

Josh nodded. "She's used to being the one doing the gossiping."

"You should apologize."

"I didn't do anything. It was Sam."

"You should apologize." Leo repeated, heading off towards his office.

"I didn't do anything." Josh repeated stubbornly, aware that, once again, he was speaking to himself.

Shaking his head in disgust, he walked quickly to his office. 

~~~~~~~

  


	8. Pursuit of Happiness, The 8

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

"Josh?" Charlie knocked lightly on the deputy chief of staff's door, peeking his head in when the door swung slightly inward.

"Come in." Josh greeted him, setting down his pen as Charlie stepped inside the door. Motioning to the chair in front of his desk, he waited until Charlie was seated to speak again. "I'd ask why you're here, but I'm sure you know that the President already called me."

"I figured he would." Charlie admitted, leaning over and placing his resignation on Josh's desk.

"And I'm sure he also told you that the chances of me accepting your resignation were slimmer than the chances of me suddenly deciding I was a Republican and dedicating my life to the eradication of gun control?"

"He used less words." Charlie replied. "But it was the same idea."

Josh smiled, leaning back in his chair. "Did he also tell you that Mandy quit last night? And that, in the process of leaving, she also managed to drive me insane?"

"He must have forgotten the last part." Charlie answered, unable to keep a smile off his face. "He did say something about you being in love with Donna though. What happened with Joey Lucas?"

"Mandy happened." Josh said bitterly. "And I'm not in love with Donna."

"I think you could be." Charlie shifted in his chair. "That would explain your reluctance to ask Ms. Lucas out."

"I wasn't reluctant." Josh insisted. "I was waiting for the right time."

"She was here for two months and you didn't find the right time?"

"I'm picky."

"Okay." Charlie shrugged. "Are we going to talk about me leaving?"

"No." Josh said calmly. "Cause it's stupid, and you're not doing it."

"You do know that the United States is a free country and that I can not be forced to work somewhere that I don't want to?"

"You do want to work here." Josh replied. "You're upset about the hostage situation, and I don't blame you for that, but quitting isn't going to make the problem go away."

"It's not that simple." Charlie said. "They're doing this because of me."

"They're doing it because of the color of your skin Charlie, they're not doing it because of you."

"That's part of who I am."

Josh sighed, nodding his head. "Yeah."

"So?"

"I can't accept it Charlie."

"You don't have a choice."

Josh sighed again, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. "Tell you what, you answer three questions for me, and then, if you still want to, I'll accept your resignation."

Charlie shook his head. "I gave it to you already. It's done."

"Charlie." Josh warned, tilting his head slightly. "Have you ever seen me angry?"

"A few times."

"So then, you've got to ask yourself, do you want that anger directed at you?"

"Not really."

"Answer the questions."

"And then I can leave?" Charlie pressed.

"Yes."

"Done." Charlie said, smiling in relief as he settled back in his chair.

"Okay, first off, do you like your job? Are you satisfied when you go home at night, and eager to get to work in the morning?"

Charlie hesitated, his eyes narrowing. "I like my job. You know that. What I don't like is people dying."

"I didn't ask that." Josh informed him. "Second question."

"Third." Charlie interrupted him. "You've already asked two."

"I asked one."

"'Do I like my job', and 'am I satisfied', that's two. I really should count 'am I eager' as one also, but I won't."

"I'm counting it as one." Josh said firmly, "And since I'm in charge here, you're going to accept that. Now, the second question is, what do you think quitting is going to accomplish?"

Charlie's eyes widened as he considered the question. "I don't know. Less death. Zoe will be safer. Everyone will be."

"Charlie, I need more than that. Tell me exactly how you leaving is going to accomplish this."

"I don't know." He admitted, dropping his head into his hands. "I feel like everyone's looking at me, blaming me. I can barely look the President in the eye without remembering that he could have died because I'm dating his daughter. And Zoe! What if she'd been killed? How could I live with that?"

"She wasn't." Josh said softly. "She's fine. She loves you."

"It'll be better if I'm not seen around the President."

"You haven't told me how yet, but I'll let it go for now. Third question, why do feel like you're responsible for what happened?"

"You don't ask easy questions." Charlie whispered, lifting his head to meet Josh's eyes. "I feel responsible because I'm black and I love a white woman."

"And this makes sense to you?" Josh pressed.

"No." Charlie exclaimed, getting up and pacing angrily around the room. "It doesn't. It's not my fault that they hate me. It's not my fault that they tried to kill us. It's not my fault." He ended on a whisper, his shoulders shaking as he stopped walking.

"Exactly." Josh agreed, getting up and walking over to stand beside him. "So why are you letting them punish you?"

"I'm not letting them..."

"You are." Josh interrupted, his voice firm. "You're saying to them that you will sit down, you will be pushed around. That you agree that you don't have the right to date Zoe, or the right to serve the President. You're saying that you deserve to sit at the back of the bus."

"I don't agree with them." Charlie said angrily. "I don't agree with anything they do, or anything they think. There's nothing wrong with my dating Zoe, and there's nothing wrong with my working for the President, and they can't take that away from me. I won't let them."

"Good." Josh smiled, patting him on the shoulder before walking over and picking up his letter of resignation. "Do you want to rip this up or should I?"

Charlie froze, his anger fading into helpless laughter. "You're good."

Josh chuckled along with him. "That's why they pay me the big bucks."

Charlie shook his head, walking over and taking the paper from Josh's hands, ripping it down the middle. He looked down at his hands. "I still feel guilty." He admitted.

Josh sobered, nodding his head. "You can't let it rule you Charlie. There wasn't anything you could do to prevent the attack, and there wasn't anything you could do to prevent them taking hostages. When they started handing out free will, they didn't just give it to those of us with the brains to use it right."

"If I wasn't dating Zoe..."

"If you weren't dating Zoe they'd find someone else to focus their hate on. Maybe they would have zeroed in on Toby and I. They're about as fond of us are they are of you."

"But they didn't."

Josh shook his head. "No. They didn't. This time. Charlie, I'm not going to tell you I understand how it feels to know that they did this because you're dating Zoe. I can't."

"It feels horrible."

Josh nodded. "Yeah."

"I want to stop it. I want it to go away. Even if I have to go away for that to happen."

"It won't." Josh said firmly. "You can't hide in a corner and hope hate will go away. It doesn't. Not like that. Not until it's brought out into the light of day."

"But what if more people die?"

"I don't know Charlie." Josh admitted, his face grim. "The only thing I do know is that you leaving won't stop it."

"It will stop this group."

Josh shook his head. "No Charlie. It won't. It will make them think they're winning."

"So I just have to deal with the guilt? I just have to be sick with fear every time I stand next to Zoe, and wonder who's waiting out there with a gun?"

"Don't do this to yourself Charlie. You'll make yourself crazy."

"It doesn't feel that far off."

Josh nodded again, sinking back into his chair. "I think we're all dealing with a bit of that. We're all going to be dealing with what happened a month ago for a long time. We're all going to be afraid and we're all going to feel powerless, but what we've got to remember is that we're not. We work in the White House, we can change things."

Charlie swallowed, looking down at his shoes. "I can't change anything. I'm just an aide."

"You're not just an aide Charlie. You're part of this. What happened in Virginia was horrible, but we're going to find a way to create something amazing out of it. We're going to make this country a better place because of it."

"And until then? How do you deal?"

Josh frowned, rolling his eyes. "According to Donna I get obsessed with stupid things."

"Like what?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Whether or not Donna is in love with me." Josh rested his head on his hands. "And then, because obsessing alone is never fun, I asked Donna if she was." Josh admitted; his words laced with self disgust. "Which went over about as well as you would imagine."

"Why did you think she was in love with you?"

"Because Mandy said she was."

"Didn't Mandy say you were in love with Donna, not the other way around?"

"No. She said both. I just chose to focus on the part I didn't know the answer to."

"Because you know you're in love with her." Charlie nodded. "Not a very suave way of making your move."

"I wasn't making a move." Josh said, his voice frustrated. "Why is everyone twisting my words today? And I'm not in love with her." He added.

Charlie grinned. "You should see the look on your face when you say her name. You're in love with her."

"Get out of my office." Josh ordered, pointing at the door.

Charlie laughed, turning towards the door. "You should apologize to Donna."

"I know." Josh replied, walking over to his desk and burying his face in his hands. "Go away."

"I'm gone." He replied, stopping at the door to add, "And thanks."

Josh waved a hand in the air, not looking up.

~~~~~~~~

Donna walked quickly through the halls of the West Wing, not quite sure where she was headed. Certainly not back to her desk, she was planning on leaving Josh to his own devices for at least another two hours before she even began to consider forgiving him.

There wasn't any doubt that she would though. She could already feel the anger fading. So he'd ruined her afternoon gossip session, it really wasn't that big of a deal. She'd sworn Bonnie, Ginger and Margaret to secrecy, pulling out a list of I.O.U's when they'd hesitated, thankful for once that Josh kept her too busy to have anything resembling a social life. Since everyone else did, she'd collected quite an arsenal of blackmail worthy items.

She kept her head down as she walked, not wanting to chance meeting anyone's eyes and give them an opening to ask her to tell Josh something. It seemed to be working fairly well until she literally ran into CJ.

"Oh. Sorry." She exclaimed, backing away from CJ and turning in the opposite direction.

"No problem." CJ answered, falling into step with Donna as she tried to make her escape. "What's going on with Josh and 804? Did Leo approve the changes?"

Donna shook her head, her lips drawn in a tight line. "I don't know."

CJ looked at her in surprise. "You don't know? You always know."

"I'm avoiding Josh." She admitted reluctantly.

"Because he asked you if you were in love with him?" CJ inquired, a grin spreading across her face.

Donna stopped, spinning around to face CJ. "He told you too?" She exclaimed, mentally erasing her earlier thoughts of forgiveness. Josh was going to suffer, and he was going to do it for a long time.

"Sam did."

Donna nodded, chewing thoughtfully on her lip. "I'll deal with Sam later. Right now, I'm too busy trying to figure out a way to kill Josh."

"It's not that big a deal is it?" CJ asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide her interest in Donna's answer.

"I'm not in love with him if that's what you're asking." Donna replied, wondering if she was going to have to deny it to every single person who worked in the West Wing. "In fact, tolerating him has become an issue."

"Mandy got to him." CJ offered in explanation. "He's actually handling it much better than he did last time."

"Last time?" Donna asked, her eyebrows raising.

CJ frowned, backing away from Donna. "No. No. This is the first time."

Donna shook her head, advancing on the taller woman. "You said there was a last time."

"Josh's gonna kill me." CJ muttered, grabbing Donna's arm and pulling her into an empty office.

"Josh is going to be too busy running from me to kill you." Donna offered helpfully, perching on the edge of the table and staring at CJ. "So tell me, has Josh been convinced I've been carrying a secret flame for him before?"

"Not exactly." CJ began, her grin returning. "He thought he was in love with you."

"What?" Donna asked weakly.

"That time, Mandy was convinced that Josh was in love with you. It was just after he asked you to be his assistant. She was mad at him for weeks."

"Good."

"Donna."

"I think it's good." She repeated stubbornly. "He's making me suffer now, I'm glad he suffered then."

"Mandy wanted him to fire you." CJ informed her. "That's why they broke up."

Donna was silent for a moment, her eyes widening. "Fire me?"

"She told him that if he wouldn't fire you, she was leaving him. And he refused to do it."

"He didn't tell me that. He insisted Mandy broke up with him because he was hotter than she was."

"Well, to be honest, he is."

"Yeah." Donna agreed quietly. "But he really loved her. He was a mess after they broke up. He spent all his time in Sam's office, talking about her."

"He wasn't talking about her." CJ corrected. "He was hiding from you."

"From me?"

"Because he was afraid he was in love with you."

"Really?" Donna asked, not knowing whether she should be insulted that it frightened him or flattered that he had considered it a possibility. "It scared him?"

"Terrified him." CJ agreed. "But then he repressed it and things were fine again. Until Mandy brought it up. And now he's obsessed with it again."

"He's really very weird." Donna said, shaking her head fondly.

"He's really in love with you." CJ answered seriously. "And you're in love with him."

Donna's mouth dropped open. "I'm...I'm not. He's not. We, collectively, are not."

"You are." CJ said firmly. "And this time, there'll be no repressing of emotions."

Donna shook her head. "Do I have to play the Danny card?" She asked.

"I do not have feelings for him." CJ replied, her cheeks flushing slightly. "And we're not talking about my repressed emotions anyway."

"But we will be." Donna replied as CJ quickly made her way out of the office.

Donna remained sitting for another few minutes, then stood, making her way to Josh's office. The door was closed when she got there, and for a second she considered just letting it go, but before she could walk away, the door flung open.

"Donna."

"Josh."

He stepped back, motioning her into the room. "We need to talk."

"You need to apologize." She corrected, settling into a chair in front of his desk and waiting for him to walk back to his before continuing. "But I'm willing to chalk it up to stress."

"Really?" Josh asked suspiciously. "It's not going to cost me a shopping trip? Dinner? A three-week paid vacation?"

"No." She said simply, leaning back in the chair. "I'm being the better person."

"Oh no." Josh shook his head. "There's no way I'm letting you be the better person."

"You don't have a choice."

"I do." He argued. "I'm going to apologize. And then I'm taking you shopping and to dinner and we'll just see who the better person is."

"Josh."

"I just need a minute to plan my apology. It's going to be very touching." He leaned over his desk, scribbling on a piece of paper. "I'm using words like 'repentant' and 'deplorable'. And if I can work it in, 'lamentable'"

Donna smiled in spite of herself. "As much as I'd like to see you lamenting Josh, you don't need to."

Josh set down his pen, looking up at her. "I went a little crazy."

"It's not the first time." She answered. "Apparently you've been in love with me before."

Josh stilled, his eyes taking on the look of a deer in headlights. "Who told?"

"Can't tell." She smiled, and then became serious. "You could have told me Mandy wanted you to fire me."

"It wasn't a big deal."

"She dumped you over it." Donna argued. "I think that's a big deal."

Josh shook his head, his eyes meeting hers. "It wasn't a hard choice."

She swallowed, feeling her heart pound a little faster in her chest. "Thanks."

Josh shrugged, looking back down at his desk. "Although there's been many a time since that I've regretted it."

"You haven't had time to regret it Josh." She threw back. "You've been too busy carrying a torch for me."

"Donna." He warned.

"What?" She asked curiously. "You thought I was in love with you."

He smiled lazily at her. "I'm still not convinced you're not."

She opened her mouth to answer when Toby walked in the door, a cloud of anger following him. "They've made their demands." He informed them curtly.

"And?" Josh pressed.

"They want Charlie to go on CNN and admit he was wrong to date a white woman."

"What?" Josh and Donna asked in unison, their voices outraged.

"Yes."

"He's not doing that." Josh said, standing up and grabbing his jacket. "There's no way."

"Of course not." Toby replied. "But the FBI are insisting that it's the only way we're going to get out of this without more people dying."

Josh frowned. "Where are we?"

"Oval office. Charlie's on his way there now."

"Okay." He turned back to Donna. "Find CJ and Sam, tell them to come."

"Okay." She answered, wheeling around to leave his office.

"And then come back here and wait for me." He yelled after her.

"Well I didn't think I'd get to go home." She yelled back, shaking her head as she walked towards Sam's office. 

~~~~~~

  


	9. Pursuit of Happiness, The 9

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

"Charlie!" Zoe's angry voice caught up with him as he walked away from Josh's office. He slowed, a hesitant smile forming on his face as he turned.

"Hi." He greeted her, shoving his hands into his pockets as she closed the distance between them.

"You are not quitting." She said firmly.

"The President called you too?"

"Of course he called me, he's my father. Did you think you could just quit and not tell me?"

"I was going to tell you." He offered lamely, reaching out to grab her hand.

She pulled away angrily. "When it was too late." Her voice was full of accusation. "I thought we shared things."

"We do."

"We don't. You decided this without me. You didn't even ask for my opinion."

"But I'm guessing that you're going to give it to me?" He asked, smiling fondly at her.

"You're not quitting. That's my opinion."

"Okay."

"It's stupid to quit. You can't make this better by leaving. I know you feel responsible Charlie, but you aren't. You can't be, because if you are..." She inhaled deeply, her eyes burning into his. Letting the breath out slowly, she continued, "If this is your fault because you're dating me, then it's my fault to, because I'm dating you. And because I'm not giving you up, no matter what they do, or how stupid you act." She paused, tilting her head to the side. "Did you just say okay?"

"Yes." He said calmly, taking a step closer to her.

"Oh."

"I'm not quitting."

"Good." She said, a small smile lighting her face.

"And this isn't your fault."

"It's not yours either."

"Yeah."

She walked closer, winding her fingers through his. "Who changed your mind?"

He shook his head, smiling at her. "You did."

She laughed. "Josh?"

"Yeah."

"He's good."

"I get that now."

She nodded, leaning forward to rest her head on his chest. "Wanna have dinner with me?"

"I'm not hungry." He answered, dropping his head to rest on hers. "But I would like very much to just stand here with you."

"Then that's what we'll do." She whispered, her arms winding tightly around him.

They stood silently for a while, the rest of the West Wing fading into the background. The knot in his stomach was finally starting to loosen when Gina appeared beside them. "The President would like you to join him in the Oval office."

Charlie felt the knot tighten again as he released Zoe. "What happened?"

Gina shook her head. "He wants to see both of you."

Zoe reached over, taking Charlie's hand in hers. "It's going to be fine."

Charlie shook his head, unable to find his voice as they headed down the hall.

~~~~

Josh stalked into the Oval office, his back already up. If the FBI thought they were going to strong arm Charlie into making some idiotic proclamation they were going to find out that the wrath of Joshua Lyman was worse than any vitriol the Aryan Resurrection could spit out.

"He's not doing it." The President was saying firmly when Josh walked into the room, Toby a step behind him. Setting down the phone, Bartlet walked around his desk. "CJ and Sam?"

"On their way." Josh confirmed. "Charlie?"

"Any minute." The President frowned. "I don't want to tell him this."

"I can't blame you sir." Toby replied, walking over to the window and looking out.

"This isn't right." The President continued; his eyes fixed on his best friend. "This isn't what this country is about."

"No sir." Leo answered. "It isn't. This is about hatred. This is about ignorance."

"Stupidity." Josh added darkly. "They're really going to kill a priest?"

Leo shook his head. "I don't know, Josh. I hope not."

"Can we let that happen?" Sam asked, coming into the room with CJ. "Maybe Charlie could just say something to placate them..."

He stopped talking when five sets of eyes turned on him angrily. Toby was the first to speak. "We're not doing that. We can't do that."

"This is about hate Sam." Josh added. "And we're not giving into it."

"And if those people die?" Sam asked. "Can we put our beliefs above their lives?"

"We'll figure something out." The President vowed, walking back over to his desk and picking up a book.

Holding it in his hands, he turned to Josh, opening his mouth to speak when Charlie walked in, his hand held tightly in Zoe's. "Is it over?" He asked the President, his tone wary.

"Not yet." The President answered, walking around his desk and motioning for Charlie and Zoe to take a seat. "They've made some new demands."

Charlie's face tightened, but he didn't say anything. The President looked around the room, his eyes lingering on his daughter's worried face for a moment, and then spoke. "They want you to do something, Charlie. Something that I am not willing to have you do."

"What?" Charlie asked, his eyes finding Josh's.

"They want you to go on CNN and admit that you were wrong to date Zoe." Josh said quietly.

"Oh." Charlie laughed bitterly. "Is that all? Are you sure they don't have a few cotton fields that need pickin'?"

"Charlie." Josh shook his head. "We don't expect you to do this. We don't want you to do this."

"But if I don't, people die?"

"We're working on another solution." The President told him.

"Good. Great." Charlie sat down heavily on the couch, Zoe walking over to rub his shoulders comfortingly. "Maybe they'll actually be able to save one of the hostages, and I'll only be responsible for three more deaths."

"This isn't your fault." Toby said firmly.

"No. It isn't my fault." Charlie agreed. "But it will be if those people die."

"They're making the choice, Charlie." Josh said.

"They're making the choice to put it on my head. I go on TV and tell a lie, betray everything my people have fought for, and the hostages get to live. I don't go on TV and they die. How is this not my choice?"

"It's not a fair choice." Sam said, "I'll admit that."

"Well thank you, Sam." Toby answered. "That was helpful."

Sam frowned, looking over at Toby. "What do you want from me? Should I write the speech for him to give?"

"I wouldn't trust you with it." Toby replied.

"Stop it." Josh ordered, pacing around the room, his mouth tight with anger. He stopped suddenly, turning around to face Sam. "You should write the speech."

"What?" The occupants of the room were united in their shock.

"Josh." Charlie whispered desperately. "Please."

"No, it's going to work." Josh said, still not catching on that no one understood what he was talking about.

Leo shook his head. "We don't even know that they'll let the hostages go after Charlie makes the speech."

Josh paused, looking strangely at Leo. "We're not going to wait for them. We're taking the church."

"Josh, I think I speak for all of us when I say 'huh'?" CJ said.

He turned to her, his voice humming with excitement. "Charlie's going to give the speech, except he's not giving a speech on why he was wrong to date Zoe, he's giving a speech on why he was right."

Leo frowned. "Well that's just going to piss them off."

Josh shook his head. "No, it won't. Sam's going to write the speech." The majority of them were still looking at him like he had grown a second head, but a small smile was forming on Toby's face. "Most of us have read a Sam Seaborn first draft, and we've all been confused by them, now we're going to use that."

"We're going to confuse the gunman?" The President asked, his tone still unsure.

"No sir." Josh said firmly. "Well yes sir. You know what Sam's writing is like, he can have you questioning whether he's saying the sky is blue or red. We'll use that to our advantage, and then while the gunman are watching the speech, but before they figure out that Charlie's not saying what they want him too, the FBI can take the place."

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Although, for the record, I am incredibly offended, I think this could work. Mr. President? Leo?"

The President met his chief of staff's eyes for a moment and then turned to his aide. "Charlie?"

Charlie looked up at Zoe, then over at Josh before turning back to the President. "I'm in."

The President nodded, a smile forming on his face as he picked up the phone. "Sam? Get to work."

"Yes sir." Sam answered, spinning around and walking out of the Oval office, Toby following closely behind him.

"CJ?" Leo asked. "Call CNN, get them to send a camera man over here. You'll have to let the press room know too, I guess."

"Done." She nodded, heading for the door.

Josh shifted impatiently, wanting things to get underway. Charlie stood, walking with Zoe to stand beside him. "Thank you." Charlie whispered softly. "I didn't want to make the choice."

"You did make the choice." Josh informed him gently. "And you made the right one."

Charlie smiled, taking Zoe's hand in his as they walked out of the Oval office.

Josh turned to Leo after they left. "This better work. I don't want to imagine how Charlie, not to mention the rest of us, are going to feel if it doesn't."

"It's going to work Josh." Leo said firmly. "You were due for a good idea."

"Well thank you." Josh said sardonically.

"It must be Donna's influence." Leo added, his lips curling into a quick smile.

Josh shook his head in disgust. "I really hate this place." He said, turning around and walking out of the Oval office to the sound of Leo's laughter.

~~~


	10. Pursuit of Happiness, The 10

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

Toby peered over Sam's shoulder for the third time in twenty seconds, clucking disapprovingly under his breath.

"What's wrong now?" Sam asked testily.

Toby frowned, walking over to stand by the window. "I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I think you're making too much sense."

"Of course." Sam replied bitterly. "The one time when my method of writing is actually of more use than your stick in the mud style, you find a way to criticize it anyway."

"I’m not trying to be critical." Toby answered, turning back to Sam. "I just don’t want this to go wrong."

Sam frowned, looking back at the screen and deleting the last two paragraphs he'd written. "I’m nervous. And when I get nervous, I start writing concisely."

Toby shook his head. "Then stop being nervous. You can do this. I have total confidence in your ability to confuse even the clearest issue until it's about as understandable as quantum mechanics."

"Well, I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems wrong somehow." Sam said dryly.

"Just write the speech." Toby ordered. "And after you're done, we'll discuss things that make you nervous so I’ll know what to use the next time I actually want a well written speech."

"Go away." Sam said, "Please?"

Toby shook his head, walking out of the office, leaving Sam typing furiously behind him. CJ was hovering outside, fidgeting nervously. "Did he finish it?"

"No." Toby replied. "Apparently he's too nervous to write something confusing."

"Why aren't you helping him?"

"Because CJ, I, unlike Sam, only know how to write clearly. This is Sam's turf."

"He doesn't have a lot of time. The cameraman will be here in a half an hour, and they're scheduled to go on air in an hour."

"He'll finish it." Toby replied.

"Why Toby, are you showing confidence in Sam?" CJ asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes CJ I am, and do you know why? Because I've been tormented almost daily by his writing for two years, and the one thing I can say freely and without a doubt, is that Sam can have those gunman unsure of not only what Charlie's saying, but what language he is, in fact, speaking."

"I’m touched." CJ replied, putting her hand to her chest with a grin. "Seriously, I think I might cry."

Toby glared at her before turning around and walking into his office.

~~~~~~~~

"Do you think I should change?" Charlie asked his girlfriend nervously, looking down at his suit. "Maybe wear the brown suit?"

"You look fine." She assured him, walking over and wrapping her arms around his neck. "It doesn't matter what you're wearing."

"I don’t want to mess this up." He admitted, slipping away from Zoe and pacing around the room. "I want this to end with no one dying."

"It will." She whispered, walking over and sitting on the couch. "The FBI are in place, the cameraman's on his way, Sam's writing the speech. It's all under control."

"What if I slip up? Say something I shouldn’t, something that makes them angry?"

"You won’t. Sam's going to think of what to say, you just have to read."

"What if I forget how?" He asked, his voice filled with apprehension. "What if I get on camera, and have no idea how to pronounce the words?"

"Then we'll rehearse it before you go on air." Zoe replied, standing up again and walking over to her boyfriend. Tugging on his arm, she pulled him back to the couch to sit next to her.

"Relax." She ordered.

"I can’t." Charlie whispered. "I just keep thinking of the gunshots. What if it happens again?"

"Charlie." She pleaded with him. A knock on the door interrupted whatever she was going to say next, and she called out. "Come in."

CJ walked in the door, her demeanor cool and composed as she greeted them. "So Charlie, you going to take a run at my job after this?"

"I don’t think so." He shook his head. "I don’t know how you go out there day after day."

"I’m a very good liar Charlie, and this job pays me well to do what I’m good at." CJ joked.

"Is Sam finished the speech?"

"Almost." She answered, coming over to sit across from them. "It’ll be fine Charlie, just remember to stare straight into the camera, and keep your voice even. Don’t let them see any anger."

"That's going to be hard." He answered tightly.

"I know." She agreed. "But you need to do this. You can be as angry as you want after the FBI get those people out."

Charlie bit his lip, nodding in understanding. "I’m going to be plenty mad."

"I think Charlie, when it's all over, you'll find that you're way too happy to be angry anymore."

He stared at her as she got up and walked towards the door. "CJ?" She turned back, waiting for him to continue. "I hope you're right."

"I am." She said with a smile, pulling the door shut behind her, leaving Zoe and Charlie to wait for their cue. ~~~~~~~

"So what you're telling me," Donna asked for the third time since Josh had returned to the office, "Is that you thought up this great plan?"

"Yes Donna." Josh answered, irritated by her inability to believe him. "I thought of the plan, I put the pieces into place, and I’m going to save the day."

"Okay." She nodded, walking over to sit in his chair. Spinning around, she stared out the window. "Did Leo start the plan, and then you finished it?"

"Donna!"

"I’m just asking."

"It's my plan." He said firmly. "Mine."

"What if it doesn't work?" She asked, spinning back around and leaning her elbows on his desk. "What will you do then?"

"It's going to work." He insisted, sitting down in the chair in front of his desk. "And why are you in my chair?"

"I like your chair, it's more comfortable than that one." She answered, pointing at the chair he was now sitting in.

"That's because it's a better chair, and the reason it's a better chair is because I like to sit in comfort."

"So do I."

"But it's my chair." He repeated.

"Get over it." She told him, picking up a file from his desk and flipping casually through it.

"You have your own desk." He said finally. "You could go there and leave me in peace."

She set the file back down, lifting her head to smile innocently at him. "I could, but then you'd have to admit that I’m the better person."

Josh considered her carefully, his lips tightening as he fought back a smile. "I don’t want to do that." He admitted.

"I didn’t think so." She said, grinning triumphantly at him.

"My mother taught me never to lie." He added, letting his own smile break free as hers faded.

"You're really not very good at being apologetic." She told him. "You should work on that."

"I’ll take that into consideration." He said lightly, leaning back in the uncomfortable chair he had been forced into.

"I’m worried about this plan." She said, drumming her nails along his desk.

"Don’t do that." He ordered, motioning toward her hand.

"Do what?" She asked innocently, her fingers tapping harder.

"Donna!"

She stopped, folding her hands together. "About the plan?"

"Please stop." Josh begged her. "It's a good plan. It's going to work."

"I never said it wouldn't." She replied. "But nothing's a hundred percent Josh."

"This is." He replied firmly, refusing to even consider the possibility that it wasn’t. "It's gonna work."

"Okay, but if something cataclysmic happens, and it doesn't," She held his gaze, "I want you to know that it wasn’t your fault. It's a good plan, and considering the alternatives, the best anyone could have come up with."

He sighed, shaking his head at his assistant. "I don’t get you, you know that, right?"

"I’m a mystery." She said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Maybe that's why you're in love with me."

Josh shook his head, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet up on his desk. "I’m going to have to kill Mandy."

~~


	11. Pursuit of Happiness, The 11

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

"Could you hurry up?" Josh asked Donna, fidgeting with his tie as he pushed his way through the crowd of people that had gathered outside the Roosevelt Room. He paused at the threshold of the room, holding the door open for his assistant to follow him in, making sure to glare intently in the direction of every giggle. "Don't you people have any work to do? This is the White House, there must be something."

Donna shook her head at him, pushing him the rest of the way into the room, whispering under her breath. "They're all worried too Josh, let it go."

"They're laughing at me." He insisted, struggling to turn around again.

Donna shook her head. "Laughing at you? And why would they be laughing at you?" Her voice was low, and to his ears, angry. "I would think if they were laughing at anyone it would be me. After all, I'm the one supposedly in love with her boss. A misconception that you are responsible for."

"I wanted to apologize." He reminded her, slipping his hand under her elbow and steering her in the direction of Sam and Toby. "You were the one who said it wasn't necessary."

"I also said that I didn't want to work later than five o'clock, but I don't remember you listening to that."

Josh stopped, turning to study her. "Well, it's too late. I've considered the matter further, and I have to say, I'm not sure I'm wrong." He smiled briefly when her eyes darkened angrily before spinning away from her and walking over to Sam. "How's the speech?"

"It's good. Toby said it was good." He paused, running a hand nervously through his hair. "Well, he said it was the vaguest thing I've ever written, but he smiled when he said it, so I'm taking it as a compliment."

"Your standards have lowered." Josh informed him.

"I think it's the first compliment he's ever given me." Sam replied. "I'm savoring it. Later, I'm going to be pissed about it, but for now, I'm savoring."

"Has Charlie read it yet?" Josh asked, his eyes searching the room for the President's aide.

"CJ's with him now. They're going over pacing, and inflection, and all that other stuff CJ thrives on."

"When do we go on air?" Josh asked next, catching sight of his assistant deep in conversation with Margaret. She was frowning, her hands moving for emphasis as she replied to something the red head said to her. He winced, hoping that Donna wasn't being given too hard a time.

Sam shook his head, smiling at his friend. "You do have a thing for her." He said in a loud whisper. "I thought we were just having a little fun, at your expense maybe, but still, fun. Why didn't you tell me?"

Josh's face tightened as he considered Sam. "Don't do this to me."

"I'm not the one who has a thing."

Josh dropped his head into his hands, blowing out a long breath. Lifting his head, he tried again. "There is no thing. I don't have a thing, Donna doesn't have a thing, there is no thing. Now, when is Charlie going on the air?" He hadn't noticed his voice rising as he spoke, but when he finished, he realized the people standing around them were all now silent, listening with interest to his words.

Sam grinned, then sobered. "Ten minutes."

"Thank you." Josh replied grimly, glaring once more at his friend before walking away.

"Hey Josh." CJ greeted him, her voice somber as she pulled him away from the mass of people surrounding the camera equipment. "Can you take a second and talk to Charlie? He's a little freaked out."

"I can't blame him." Josh answered. "Where is he?"

"In the Oval office. The President and Zoe are with him, but they don't seem to be getting anywhere."

"I'm on it." He answered, wheeling away and heading towards the Oval office. ~~~~~

"Charlie? Are you listening to me?" Zoe asked, tapping on his leg to get his attention.

He looked up, attempting to smile at his girlfriend and failing. "I'm sorry."

"It's going to be fine, Charlie." The President offered, getting up from behind his desk and walking over to sit on the couch across from them. "The FBI are ready, they've got the rescue team there. They're just waiting for your speech."

"I had to give an oral presentation once." Charlie whispered, "I somehow ended up talking about dog food. What if I do that again?"

"Dog food?" Zoe asked curiously.

Charlie shrugged, looking at her with wide, panicked eyes. "I don't know how it happened. One minute I was talking about the Trojan horse, and the next minute I was talking about how they sometimes use horse meat in dog food."

"I'm sure you won't do that today."

"Do they still do that?" The President asked.

Charlie shook himself out of his fear long enough to ask, "You don't know? I thought you knew everything."

The President smiled. "You can be sure I'll find out."

They descended into silence once again, and Charlie was sure that time had actually stopped. He was going to be stuck with this fear for the rest of his life, always waiting for the moment he had to go on air.

A soft knock at the door rescued him. He looked up as Josh stuck his head in the office. "Mr. President? Zoe? Can I have a minute with Charlie?"

The President looked gratefully at Josh, taking his daughters arm and tugging her gently away from her boyfriend. "We'll head to the Roosevelt room. Charlie?"

Charlie nodded, afraid to stand as the President left the room. He wasn't entirely sure his legs would support him if he tried. He kept his head bowed as Josh walked heavily across the room, collapsing onto the couch beside him. "I'm sensing some tension." He said lightly.

Charlie sighed, hoping he could keep his voice from shaking as he answered. "Well, in ten minutes I could be responsible for the deaths of four people, so I think I've got a right to be tense."

"It's not going to happen Charlie."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't." Josh admitted. "But what I do know is that no matter what happens at that church, it's not going to be your fault. I'm not going to tell you that nothing can go wrong, it can. People may die, and other people may blame you, but here Charlie, here, we know that you are blameless. You know you are."

Charlie shook his head, a reluctant smile crossing his lips. "That's not the best pick up talk I've ever heard."

"Well, you should hear Sam. He'd have you running from the White House in terror."

Charlie laughed shortly and then became grim again. "I read the speech. It's confusing, so I guess that's a good sign."

"It's what we want."

"And this is the right thing to do." Charlie said, sounding unsure.

"This is the right thing to do." Josh confirmed.

"And it wouldn't be better if I just followed their demands and said what they wanted to hear?"

"It wouldn't be better. How can a lie be better? This isn't an easy subject Charlie, and I can't tell you that there aren't a lot of people out there who think that dating outside your race is wrong, but what I can tell you is that this country was founded on the belief that all men are created equal, and that all men have the right to the pursuit of happiness. You've found happiness with Zoe, and for them to try and tell you that it's wrong..."

"Is wrong?" Charlie asked with a half smile.

Josh smiled back, nodding. "Something like that."

Charlie's smile faded as he spoke again, "Do you know that when the declaration of Independence was signed, it was still legal to own slaves. It was signed in 1776, and in 1780, Pennsylvania became the first state to outlaw slavery."

Josh frowned, "Yeah."

"It wasn't completely outlawed until 1865."

"Yeah."

"89 years later."

Josh shifted, his eyes meeting Charlie's. "Yeah."

"Do you think they were showing foresight, or that they just didn't consider African American's human?"

Josh answered slowly, "I want to believe they were showing foresight."

Charlie nodded. "Me too."

They stared at each other in silence for a minute, then Charlie stood, smoothing his suit. "This is going to work." He said, wishing he could make his voice sound a little more confident.

"It is." Josh agreed, climbing to his feet.

Charlie breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly as CJ came to the door, motioning to her watch. "I guess I'm on."

"You'll do fine."

"And if I don't?"

"You can blame me." Josh offered.

Charlie smiled, walking across the room to join CJ. "I was already planning on that."

~~~

Sam paced in front of the camera, his eyes darting quickly over the tele-prompter, his mouth opening as he silently read the words. Leo walked over to him, patting his arm to get his attention. "It's good." He told him.

Sam stopped, looking surprised to see Leo standing there. "This better work." He replied in a low voice.

Leo glanced quickly over at Charlie and then nodded. "I know."

The cameraman raised one arm, the lights in the room dimming until there was only one light left, shining directly on Charlie. "We're on in five, four, three..."

Charlie swallowed, his eyes resting on Zoe for a moment before he turned to the camera. "Good evening. As was announced, my name is Charles Young, and I am the personal aide to the President of the United States." He paused, his throat moving convulsively before he continued. "I am also an African American. My ancestors came to this country bound by their arms and legs to serve white landowners."

"He sounds angry." Leo said quietly.

"He should be." Josh answered, walking over to stand next to Sam and Leo.

"He can't be." Leo reminded him.

"Yeah." Josh agreed as they turned their attention back to Charlie. Leo stood beside them for a moment before walking over to stand beside the President and Zoe.

"But I'm not here tonight to talk about history. Tonight, I'm here to talk to you about the future. I'm here to talk about where this country is going, and what part in that, I, as a black man, can have.

"But to get to that point, first, we have to see where we've come from. I'm not talking about a hundred years ago, or even fifty. I'm talking of one night, just over a month ago, when three men aimed, and took fire at the President of the United States."

"Isn't this a little harsh?" Josh asked nervously, looking over at Sam, who was chewing intently on his lower lip.

Sam shook his head, his voice barely more than a whisper. "No. Listen. It's okay."

"Now, we elect a man to the office of President because we believe, above all else, that we can trust him to hold the truths and ideals that this country was founded on close to his heart. That his every action will be taken in the belief that he is acting in the best interests of this country.

"But what if this President is also a father? And what if he does something that some believe, is in direct disregard for the purity of this country, under the guise of fatherhood?

"In the declaration of Independence," Charlie continued, his eyes meeting Josh's for a quick moment before returning to stare straight ahead again. "It states that all men are created equal. We take that to mean everyone living in this country. But this document was written when slavery was still legal. When, as a black person, I wouldn't have had been able to become a citizen. So what did our forefathers mean? Am I less than human?"

"In the same document, it also talks about the responsibility the citizens of the United States carry. It talks about the right of the people to overthrow a government that they believe to be in direct opposition to the truths of this land."

"Okay." Josh said quietly. "Now we're telling the American public that it's their duty to try and overthrow us?"

Sam shook his head, glaring at Josh. "That's not what it's saying."

"Then I'm confused." Josh replied.

"That's kinda the point." Sam responded, turning slightly as Leo approached them.

"It's happening." Leo said softly.

"Now?" Josh asked, his face paling as he met Leo's eyes. "Shouldn't they wait a bit?"

"It's happening now." Leo confirmed as their eyes turned away from Charlie towards the back of the room where the President was talking quietly on the phone.

He hung up finally, squeezing his daughter's shoulder before he lifted his head to smile at his staff.

Josh sighed in relief as Sam sagged against a chair. "Don't ever ask me to write a speech for racists again."

Leo nodded, a wide smile on his face.

Sam stood again, straightening his suit as he asked Leo. "Should we switch it?"

Leo looked over at the President, their eyes meeting in silent communication for a moment before the President nodded. Leo turned back to Sam. "Switch it."

Josh looked from Sam to Leo. "Switch what?"

Sam shook his head, walking over to stand behind the tele-prompter, his fingers flying over the keypad.

Charlie paused, his face going blank, and then a relieved smile spread over his face. His eyes shifted to Zoe for a long silent minute, and then he spoke. "I'm sorry. I've just been given some good news and the President has asked me to share it with you.

"As of 7:42, the hostage situation at St. Michaels has been resolved. The FBI were able to subdue the three gunman without any injury to the hostages. They are all being checked out at a local hospital, but should be released within the hour."

Charlie paused, his eyes traveling over the next page of text that appeared on the prompter. He nodded slightly, a smile hovering just under his serious expression. "These men, these white supremacists, invaded a church, held a Priest hostage, because they believed that they were not only acting in the best interests of their country, but of their God.

"I believe they are wrong. I can't believe they are right. When I look around at the world that surrounds us, a world, in spite of its problems, that is filled with more beauty and wonder than a person could ever comprehend. I can't believe that the Creator of all of this would want my President to die because of who his daughter was dating.

"I can't believe He smiled down as these men rained bullets on a crowd of innocent people. I can't believe He didn't weep for the ignorance, and the hatred we show towards each other.

"I can't believe the God that gave us the capacity to love would want me to turn away from it because of the color of my skin. Look around you, at your loved ones, and ask yourself, would you love them any less if their skin were a different shade?" Charlie hesitated, his voice hitching slightly. "I fell in love with a person, not the daughter of the President, not the color of her skin, or her hair, but a person."

"Wrap it up." Sam muttered under his breath when Charlie seemed to be taking a second to regroup. "Say goodnight."

"It was a good speech Sam." Josh whispered, turning his attention from Charlie to search the room for his assistant. She was perched on the edge of a chair, her eyes intent as she watched Charlie. He grinned, looking forward to teasing her about her lack of confidence in him.

"It was a good speech." Toby echoed Josh, coming to stand beside Sam. Sam was silent, his mouth sagging slightly at Toby's words. Josh grinned, his eyes meeting Toby's. Toby almost smiled back. "And I saw you staring at Donna."

Josh started, shaking his head in denial. "Oh no. Not now. We're gonna be celebrating in a few minutes, please don't ruin it for me."

Toby shrugged, "You were staring." He repeated, wandering over to stand beside CJ.

Sam smiled at Josh, but it faded as Charlie's voice filled the room again. "What is he doing?" Sam asked frantically. "I didn't write this."

"A friend reminded me earlier today that we've all been given free will, and how we choose to use it is up to us. He reminded me that I can't hold myself responsible for the actions of others. What I can hold myself responsible for is my actions.

"So, unlike those who chose to hate, I choose to love. And unlike those who work to undermine this country, I choose to serve it, in any capacity I can.

"I also choose to believe that when our forefathers signed the Declaration of Independence they were looking forward to a day when there is no question, not in any citizen of this country's mind, that all men are created equal.

"Thank you, and good night." The Cameraman held his arm up for a moment, and then lowered it as the room erupted into applause. Charlie sucked in a breath, his head dropping to the table as Zoe rushed across the room to him.

Sam shook his head, shooting daggers at Charlie. Toby walked by, a broad smile on his face. "Now you see how I suffer." He offered, a short bark of laughter breaking from his lips before he walked off.

Sam sighed, turning to Josh. "That was not fun."

Josh shook his head, watching almost enviously as Zoe and Charlie hugged. "No. It wasn't, and tomorrow, it won't be again." He paused, a mischievous smile lighting his face. "But tonight?"

Sam's face lit up in response. "Tonight, we celebrate!"

Josh laughed, wrapping his arm around his friend as they walked over to join the President and Leo. 

~


	12. Pursuit of Happiness, The 12

Title: The Pursuit of Happiness 

Author: Andrea 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, and probably more people, all of whom are not me. 

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'What Kind of Day has it Been?'

Summary: It's been a month since the shootings, and the White House is just getting back to normal when something happens to bring it all back.

Pairings: J/D, C/Z.

 

The party was in full swing by the time Josh finally caught sight of Donna. She was settled on the couch, deep in conversation with CJ. Making his excuses to Toby and Sam he sauntered over to drop onto the couch beside her.

"Josh." CJ greeted him with a wide smile. "Your plan worked."

Josh nodded, frowning in the direction of his assistant. "Yes, in spite of the lack of faith Donna has in me, my plan was a success."

"It wasn't lack of faith." Donna protested. "I was just being cautious."

"Lack of faith." He repeated sternly.

CJ shook her head, climbing to her feet. Donna stopped glaring at Josh long enough to turn to her. "You're going?"

CJ grinned. "Yup. I thought I'd leave the lovebirds alone." Donna shook her head in warning, her lips tightening as CJ laughed. "And no repressing." She ordered.

Donna glared up at her. "I'm planning to have a long talk with a certain reporter tomorrow."

CJ laughed again. "You won't."

Donna continued looking at her, her eyes gleaming. "No." She paused, smiling wickedly. "But I might talk to Toby."

CJ blanched, her smile fading as she stammered her good-byes.

Josh leaned back, resting his head on the back of the couch. "What was that about?"

Donna rolled her eyes at him, lifting her wineglass and taking a small sip.

"Well?" He pushed, turning his head to the side so that he could look at her.

She sighed, setting her glass down on the table. "I don't think my theory was stupid. I think it was right. You were obsessing because you didn't want to think about what was happening."

Josh frowned, lifting his head. "Okay, that was an answer to a question I didn't ask."

"It was the one I wanted you to ask."

"So now you're just going to answer questions you want me to ask?"

Donna shrugged, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Lately your questions have all annoyed me."

"Donna."

She stood, taking a few steps away from him before turning back. "I was right. I know I was right because I did the same thing. I didn't want to remember what happened. I didn't want to remember how afraid I was." She bit her lip, her face flushing with emotion. "In some ways Josh, you were lucky. You didn't have to wait hours to find out if everyone was okay. You didn't have to sit by someone's bed all night, not knowing before then that it was possible to be that afraid and that relieved at the same time. You didn't have to sit and pray that the doctors were right and that you'd wake up in the morning with nothing more than a headache." She stopped talking abruptly, her chin trembling. "It was the worst night of my life Josh, and I didn't want to go back. So don't tell me my theory is stupid." She closed her eyes for a second and then spun around, walking quickly away.

Josh stared after her in stunned silence. How had he missed this? He should have known. How could he have been so selfish to only think it was the people who were there when the shooting occurred that were affected?

"Hey Josh." Sam said, collapsing on the couch next to him. "What's going on?"

Josh shook his head slowly, turning to look at his friend. "I'm not sure, but I may be an idiot."

"Oh, you are." Sam answered helpfully. "But can you tell me why exactly?"

Josh stared into space for a minute before asking, "Did Cathy go to the hospital the night of the shooting?"

Sam looked at him strangely. "No. She called though."

"Donna came."

"Of course."

Josh shifted, leaning forward and studying his fingers intently. "Why 'of course'?"

Sam shrugged. "She knew you'd need her."

"She didn't have to come." Josh whispered.

"No." Sam agreed. "But I think she'd see it differently."

"Why?"

"You always go to her when something goes wrong, this time you couldn't, so she came to you."

Josh nodded, recognizing the truth in Sam's words. "Why do I do that?"

Sam stood, patting him on the shoulder. "That one you've got to figure out on your own." He answered, walking away and leaving Josh to his thoughts. ~~

"You were great." Zoe whispered into her boyfriend's ear as they sat closely together on the couch.

Charlie nodded, sagging into her, and letting her support him. "No one died."

"It's more than that Charlie." Zoe insisted, pulling away from him so that she could look into his eyes as she spoke. "You got to speak."

Charlie shrugged. "They were Sam's words."

"But you believe them." Zoe countered. "And from the look on Sam's face, I think the last part was all you."

Charlie hesitated for a long second, and then nodded. "Yeah." He smiled, pulling Zoe back to him. "I guess I owe you."

"For what?" She asked.

"For putting up with me."

Zoe leaned over, kissing his cheek. "I'm lucky I get too."

The President walked up to the pair, struggling to look stern. "What are you two doing? Is it not enough that I have to wonder every time my daughter comes to visit me whether it's really my aide she's coming to see?"

"With all due respect to your office sir, it is." Charlie answered, a grin spreading across his face as Zoe laughed.

She straightened up, pride lacing her voice as she spoke. "Wasn't Charlie great?"

The President nodded, reaching out to tousle his youngest daughter's hair. "He was." His gaze moved over to Charlie. "You did a good thing."

"Thank you sir."

"And now, because I'm starting to suspect that Charlie is out to steal not only my daughter, but my limelight, I'm going to give a little speech of my own."

"Daddy." Zoe begged, "This is supposed to be the fun part."

"Are you suggesting my speeches are not fun?"

"I'll call Mom." Zoe threatened.

The President grinned. "Your mother is, as we speak, sound asleep on the other side of the world. I think I'm safe."

"For now."

"That's all I can ever ask." The President responded, pulling Zoe to her feet. "I want you two with me."

Dragging Zoe to the other side of the room, the President cleared his throat, waiting until Charlie had taken his place on the other side of Zoe to speak. "Can I have a minute of your time?" He asked, his tone conveying that there really wasn't a choice.

The room quieted, the occupants turning to their President with varying degrees of interest. Sam nudged Josh, muttering under his breath. "Wanna bet it's going to be longer than a minute?"

"I'm saying at least fifteen." Josh replied, stifling his smile as the President began to speak.

"I know you all want to get back to celebrating, so I won't keep you long." He paused, "As long as you all understand that I could, if I chose."

A few snickers filled the room.

"First, I want to congratulate Charlie for his coolness and composure during a very difficult situation. His bravery should stand as a benchmark for us all.

"And then I want to apologize to him." The President turned, his eyes focusing on Charlie alone. "I should have talked to you immediately after this happened. I should have told you again and again that this wasn't your fault, until you had no choice but to believe me."

He paused, taking a deep breath. "I didn't though, and I know you took that to be an admission by me that you were, in some way, at fault. It wasn't. Not ever. It was the silence of a President who was struggling to come to terms with the fact that this country isn't as free of racism as he wanted to believe, and the struggle of a father who wants nothing more than the safety of his children."

Charlie ducked his head, his fingers still laced tightly through Zoe's. "But Charlie, I'm saying it now. This isn't your fault. It never has been. And I'm proud that my daughter has chosen to date you."

The President's gaze moved over the crowd to settle on Toby. "I fear, in the last month that I've failed you as a President. I wanted so much for this not to be true, for this act to be an aberration, that I remained silent when I should have spoken.

"I'm sure many of you are aware of a speech Toby wrote just after the events in Virginia." He paused, his eyes searching out Sam. "I know at least one person read it today."

Sam nodded, a small smile hovering on his lips. Toby looked over at him with a wry smile. "Now you're stealing my stuff?"

Sam shrugged, "I know good writing when I see it." He paused, his lips twisting with a half hidden grin. "Unlike you."

Toby raised one eyebrow. "I just feel better knowing there was a reason I liked something you wrote." He smiled at Sam's outraged expression before turning back to the President. "Sir?"

The President nodded. "Toby wrote this speech for me to give, and I refused. I told him that I would be giving them to much power if I spoke. He told me I was wrong, and he was right.

"Martin Luther King Junior once said, 'Our lives begin and end on the day we become silent about things that matter.'

"I am not going to remain silent any longer. This administration isn't going to remain silent any longer."

"I know one speech won't make everything better. I know there's a long road ahead of us, but I believe that we will. I believe that we have too."

He stopped talking as the crowd gathered in the room clapped loudly. When the had quieted again, he added, "And Josh, that was only two minutes, which I believe makes you wrong."

Josh grinned, nodding in agreement. "Yes sir."

"Wrong." The President repeated for emphasis.

"Totally."

"Okay, good." The President said, turning his attention from Josh to his daughter and aide. "You guys okay?"

"Yeah." Zoe answered, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Thanks."

Charlie waited silently as the President pulled his daughter into a hug. When he released her, his eyes found Charlie's. "Martin Luther King said something else."

"Sir?"

"He said, 'In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.' I hope you don't just remember my silence Charlie."

"It's already forgotten sir."

"No, don't forget it Charlie, learn from it."

"Yes sir."

The President smiled, "Good." He turned away, wandering in Leo's direction as Josh walked over to Charlie, pounding his back. "You did it." He said proudly.

Charlie nodded. "I did."

"And you feel good?" Josh asked.

"Yeah." Charlie agreed. "You helped. Thank you."

Josh shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah. You know me, I'm like Superman."

"You're not like Superman." Charlie said. "Superman could fly. And he wore tights."

Josh grimaced. "I don't want to wear tights."

Charlie nodded in agreement. "You don't have the legs for them."

Josh glared at him. "It's not that. I just don't want to wear them. I could though."

"People would laugh."

"People already laugh." Josh replied glumly. "And I'm leaving you two now."

"Because of the tights?" Charlie asked.

Josh shook his head, grinning at Zoe. "No, because your girlfriend is giving me the international look for get the hell out of here."

Charlie laughed, turning to Zoe as Josh walked away. "There's pizza." He told her.

"I know."

"I'm starving." He added.

"Do you want to go get some pizza Charlie?" She asked, smiling widely.

"Yes. I most definitely do." He answered checking to make sure the President wasn't looking before kissing her. "And then I was thinking, we could go see a movie."

Her smile widened. "We could do that."

"We could definitely do that." He replied, taking her hand in his. "But not one of your movies."

"My movies aren't bad Charlie."

"So you say."

"They aren't."

"People are always crying in your movies."

"Not always."

"No, sometimes they spend the whole movie pretending they aren't in love, only to fall in each others arms in the last scene."

"Falling in love isn't bad."

He squeezed her hand. "No, I guess it isn't."

~~~~~~~~

Josh was trying, with limited success, to find his assistant in the crowd, and at the same time, not look like he was trying to find her.

"Looking for Donna?" Leo asked, balancing his plate of food on one hand as he picked at it.

"No...How did you know?" Josh questioned tiredly. "Let me guess, I have a Donna face."

"Yup."

"Fine." Josh waved one hand in the air. "I give up."

"So you're admitting it?"

Josh shook his head. "No."

"You don't find her attractive?" Leo pressed, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"She's not ugly." Josh offered.

"She's beautiful."

"Whatever."

"And you're attracted to her." Leo stated.

Josh shook his head. "I'm not looking for her to declare my undying love. I just want to apologize."

"What did you do now?"

Josh frowned, looking down at his shoes. "Nothing, everything. I don't know." He sighed, looking up at Leo. "She sat beside my bed in the hospital."

"And you're going to apologize for that?"

"No, I'm going to apologize because I didn't realize that today was just as hard for her as it was for me."

Leo sobered. "It was hard for everyone."

"Yeah."

"But this is the celebration. We're supposed to be having fun."

"I will be, once I apologize."

"And you're not in love?"

Josh glared at him, spinning around and almost knocking Sam over in his rush to escape. "Sorry."

"S'okay."

"I'm leaving." He announced to Sam.

"Okay."

"Because Leo is bugging me." He added.

"Sure." Sam agreed with a grin.

"I'm going to apologize to Donna and then I'm going to go home and forget this day ever happened."

"You bet."

"And if I am attracted to Donna, it's none of your business."

Sam shared a look with Leo before answering, "Okay."

"It's not like I'm overly attracted to her. If I had to rate it, I'd say I'm somewhat attracted."

"Somewhat?" A female voice asked from behind his shoulder.

Josh glared weakly at a grinning Sam before turning around. "Donna."

She raised one eyebrow, biting down on her lip. "I should be offended."

Josh shook his head at the smile she was attempting to hide. "You're trying not to laugh."

She shrugged, "Well, that's why I'm not offended."

He sighed helplessly. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay."

"Alone." He clarified, scowling at Sam and Leo before taking her arm and guiding her from the room.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked, once they were in the hall. "Because if it's work related, I don't want to hear it."

"It's not."

"If it's about me being in love with you..."

"Could you maybe give me a chance to talk?"

"Okay." She agreed, remaining silent as they walked towards his office.

Once they were inside, he shut the door and turned to her. "I'm sorry."

She frowned. "For what?"

"I never told you how much I appreciated everything you did for me after the shooting. I should have."

"I knew you did."

"I should have said it anyway."

"You took me away from the party for this?" She asked.

"I thought it was important."

She softened. "It is."

"And your theory was right." He added.

She smiled. "Does this mean our love affair is over?" He hesitated, his eyes searching hers. Her breathing quickened as a flush of color spread across her cheeks. "Josh?"

"I'm not sure." He admitted finally.

"What?" She asked, fiddling nervously with her hair.

He took a step closer to her, his voice almost apologetic. "I'm going to kiss you."

"Why?" She breathed, her eyes widening.

"So I can let this go."

"And kissing me is going to accomplish that?"

"Yes." He answered firmly, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach as he closed the distance between them.

"Maybe you should see a doctor?" Donna asked nervously, taking a step backwards. "This could be post traumatic stress. Or maybe you have a brain tumor."

"I'm don't have post traumatic stress or a tumor Donna."

"You aren't acting normal." She observed.

"It's just one kiss. Then I can forget what Mandy said and get on with my life."

She was silent for a minute, and he thought she looked like she was considering agreeing to his plan. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. "What about Joey?"

"What about Joey?"

"Don't you two have a thing?" She asked impatiently.

"No. We definitely do not have a thing. Mandy got to her first."

"Mandy told Joey that I was in love with you and Joey dumped you?"

"No. Mandy told Joey I was in love with you and Joey agreed with her." He corrected.

She shook her head. "Am I the only one who doesn't believe that you're in love with me?"

"Apparently."

"Do you think you are?" She asked slowly, her eyes filled with something he almost thought was hope. He wasn't sure if that made him happy, or very, very afraid.

"No." He exclaimed. "I can't be. I would know if I was. But, according to everyone I've talked to, I am. So, I'm studying the problem."

"By kissing me?"

"Yes."

"You are not well."

"I'm aware of that."

"As long as you know."

"Donna?"

"Yes?"

"Could you shut up so that I can kiss you?"

"I don't think so." She whispered, continuing her backwards movement until she was pressed against the closed door. "I've never been alone with a crazy person before. It's making me nervous."

"I'm not crazy. I just have to kiss you so that I can prove that everyone else is."

"And that's sane reasoning?"

"Shut up." He ordered in a low voice, moving to stand inches in front of her. She blew out a soft breath, tilting her head slightly. He leaned in, his lips barely brushing across hers. Pulling back, he met her eyes. She nodded slightly, her lips moving to meet his again.

Wrapping one arm around her waist, he pulled her closer, his mouth opening against hers. She leaned into him, her tongue dancing with his. The kiss lasted less than a minute, but when he finally pulled back they were both breathing hard.

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment before Donna spoke. "Satisfied?"

"Not even close." He whispered softly.

She blushed, shaking her head. "I meant..."

"I know what you meant." He answered, letting go of her waist and taking a step backwards. "This didn't go exactly like I planned it."

"Really?" She arched an eyebrow. "So you're not convinced that I'm not in love with you?"

"I'm not even convinced that I'm not in love with you." He answered ruefully, rubbing his hand nervously through his hair. "What do you think?"

She considered his question, her head tilted in thought. Finally, when he didn't think he could wait another second she spoke. "It's possible that I don't not love you.

"What does that mean?" He asked impatiently, stilling when the words had worked themselves out in his mind. "Oh."

"It's a big shock to me too." She said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. "And you were the one who forced the issue. If you hadn't kissed me, this would have been forgotten by tomorrow."

"I know." He whispered, taking a step away from her and then moving back again. "I'm not mad. I'm...I'm..."

"You're what?"

"I'm just thinking that maybe everyone isn't as crazy as I thought they were."

She laughed. "You're such a charmer Josh."

"Well look at you, a double negative? Did you not learn grammar in school?"

"I learned grammar in school."

"You just forgot how to use it?"

"Do you want to kiss me again?"

Josh stilled, his stomach clenching. "Yes."

"Then I think you'd be smart to stop making fun of my grammar skills."

Josh shook his head, wrapping one arm around her waist. "For now." He whispered as his lips descended onto hers.

It was much later in the evening when she separated herself from him, her eyes dancing as she asked, "Somewhat?"

"Huh?" He asked, his arms reaching out for her.

"Somewhat attracted?"

He shook his head, his lips pulling into a smile as he met her eyes. "Insanely?"

"That's a start." She replied, smiling as she leaned into him again.

~fin


End file.
